Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Jackie Chan Stunt Team FC

If you're gonna cheat, cheat good.
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The habit of diving to win a free kick or a penalty is rife in European football (soccer). Theatrics are becoming almost part and parcel of the modern game.

However, no team wins more free kicks than Jackie Chan Stunt Team FC.

You'd need a pretty hard referee to deny the appeals of a man who was so blatantly fouled, he did a double cork screw and landed on his spine. And it makes cheating, at the very least, fun to watch.

Far off into the future, due to the legacy of JCST FC, referees will only give a penalty to a player if his fall was particularly heinous (and incorporated enough spins). This would either return football to its status as a proper man's game, or result in increasingly elaborate falls – either way the spectator wins.

See [linky] for an example.

theleopard, Oct 08 2012

A couple of corkscrew falls http://www.dailymot...rew-fall_shortfilms
Imagine Suarez doing this on the edge of the penalty box. [theleopard, Oct 08 2012]

Shaolin Soccer http://www.amazon.c...d=1349709606&sr=8-1
The finest film about football ever made. [DrBob, Oct 08 2012]

[link]






       Ideally, you need to find a way to inveigle as many PANES OF GLASS into the football field in order for people to play the "if your face breaks the glasss, you lose" game from Police Story.
zen_tom, Oct 08 2012
  

       So, about ten pairs of men at the sidelines, each pair holding between them a pane of glass 10 feet long and six feet high. Each pair of men run in tandem holding the respective ends of their pane of glass, across the field. When they get to the other side they count to 10 and then run back the other way.
pocmloc, Oct 08 2012
  

       As a derivative, perhaps we would also need to add brick walls with narrow gaps and holes that prevent the players from running in a straight line, sort of Parkourball, or FreeRunningBall.   

       All the odd angles and dangerous corners would make genuine injuries a lot more interesting to watch. I imagine this would require more players to keep the game going.
PainOCommonSense, Oct 09 2012
  

       Piles of empty cardboard boxes, racks of garments, fruit stands, hot dog carts …
8th of 7, Oct 09 2012
  

       Oooh, I like that... These could be placed all around the pitch, so the acrobatic players could appear to be hurled through them at awkward angles.
theleopard, Oct 09 2012
  
      
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