Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

h a l f b a k e r y
Bite me.

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Kitchen Hardware Chain, For Men
"Now, we'll just turn this on..."
  (+32, -6)(+32, -6)(+32, -6)
(+32, -6)
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Bachelors, well, most bachelors, are pretty poor cooks. The reason for this is simple: most kitchen stuff is designed for people who enjoy cooking.

KHS is no namby-pamby, ducks-n-bows kind of kitchen store. This place looks like a hardware store and stocks serious tools for the guy who needs to cook for himself, or a friend or two.

Lightweight jackammers, for prising frozen steaks apart
1/4horsepower drills, with food grade attachments for mixing and stirring.
A can opener that slices the top clean off the toughest cans, like a horizontal guillotine.
Fridge electromagnets, that have to be switched off to retrieve the note they're holding up.
A microwave that cooks a whole chicken in just under two minutes, or reheats a meal in ten seconds.
A toaster that consists of a flameproof board, a blowtorch and a couple of hooks.
A fridge that holds 30 cartons of beer and still has room for 2 days worth of food.
Teflon-coated plates and cutlery that don't need washing, just a wipe.
Angle-grinder, for stuff that won't wipe off.
Radial arm bench saw: for slicing cheese, salami, cucumbers, tomatoes, frozen meat, bread and pizza.

You get the idea.


UnaBubba, Feb 23 2005

This is the microwave you're after... http://www.theonion...age_article2767.jpg
(From theonion.com, 24th Feb) [Jinbish, Feb 24 2005]

knife rack http://www.vicevers...intItemID,1447.html
[calum, Feb 24 2005]

For my good friend UnaBubba Roaming_20Goldfish_20Bowl
-the fishbowl moves- [zeno, Feb 24 2005]

For the recipe book Linear_20Accelerator_20Stapler
[angel, Feb 25 2005]

For the potato carvers http://www.mlahanas...Arts/ZeusAltarE.htm
Just a little idea of a frieze you can carve into your potato with you lathe. [Machiavelli, Feb 25 2005]

baconvest2 http://members.cox....edeb/baconvest2.bmp
It's not my fault, [po] thought of it first! [dentworth, Feb 26 2005]

[UB]'s pasta machine http://www.whitchur...ing%20Mill%20BW.jpg
[angel, Feb 28 2005]

HB Archive: "Dry Lids" DryLids
Some weakly related annos on this idea from May 2002. [bristolz, Feb 28 2005]


Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee

Destination URL. E.g., http://www.coffee.com/

Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)







       have you got a meat tenderiser? sorry, smasher!

po, Feb 24 2005
  

       I have a 400W Bosch hammer drill and in my kitchen I have a Braun 1200W handheld food mixer. For some reason it takes 3 times as much power to make soup as it does to drill into concrete.

hippo, Feb 24 2005
  

       I hear you. I'm trying to convince Hilti to make kitchen fittings for my TE74 KombiHammer.

UnaBubba, Feb 24 2005
  

       don't forget [Worldgineer's] auger for digging out hard frozen icecream.   

       remember Tim the Toolman Taylor? still on American tv every day, several freaking times a day.

dentworth, Feb 24 2005
  

       Lets not get carried away with simply "More Power!", this should also be about precision: If I'm going to make cheese on toast, it's gonna be the best goddamn cheese on toast, perfectly matching industry spec'. This could involve kitchen micrometers for measuring bread thickness or even having slat cellars with imperial grades of grain size...

Jinbish, Feb 24 2005
  

       Like a cheese planer and thicknesser?

zeno, Feb 24 2005
  

       Exactly.

Jinbish, Feb 24 2005
  

       //A fridge that holds 30 cartons of beer and still has room for 2 days worth of food// Whaddya mean? 30 cartons of beer *is* 2 days worth of food!
<wonders what use an 800W router can be put to> [+]
  

       As a cake mixer of course.   

       Superb. [+]

etherman, Feb 24 2005
  

       Can I get a nail gun adapted to put cloves into oranges please?

etherman, Feb 24 2005
  

       This is starting to sound more and more like your average Restruarant supply store

Knife Knut, Feb 24 2005
  

       Yeah. Your average AWESOME kitchen supply store!! ROCK ON!!!   

       I'm sorry. I'll leave now.

shapu, Feb 24 2005
  

       This is great! I'd be able to get my dad something other than ties and/or regular ol' power tools for Father's day, his birthday, and Christmas!   

       (All of a sudden I have a hankering for a good cheese, cucumber, and tomato sandwich.)

Machiavelli, Feb 24 2005
  

       Melon ball catapult?   

       It would be fun to watch your man playing at the kitchen outlet store. Bring out the creative, yet manly side of cooking.   

       (Sort of reminds me of the idea about "Hard Hat World".)

blissmiss, Feb 24 2005
  

       The tool pantry will have lots of decorative applications. A chain saw for ice sculptures, miter saw for perfectly square wedding cake, a router to carve a watermelon centerpiece, a heat gun for drying lettuce or quick creme brulee, a power sprayer for cleaning fresh spinach and potatoes. Is there some tool that can make perfect pie crust?

robinism, Feb 24 2005
  

       how about using a lathe to peel potatoes. Either that or a planner.

thekid4000, Feb 24 2005
  

       I like the idea of a lathe. Potatoes carved into intricate turned shapes. Also, potatoes routered into friezes and picture panels, before deep frying.

UnaBubba, Feb 24 2005
  

       Use a power compacter for the pie crust. Don't forget the walk-in microwave. Pressure washer for the sink. Wood chipper for the garbage disposal. Pipe cutter for breadsticks.

Aq_Bi, Feb 25 2005
  

       I remember UnaBubba rambling on about having to cook breakfast for the nurse before leaving for work.   

       So this is how he does it.

neelandan, Feb 25 2005
  

       Yep.

UnaBubba, Feb 25 2005
  

       Will you sell a Bacon Vest UB? and I like my chef's naked, btw.

dentworth, Feb 25 2005
  

       I like the Potato Lathe better than the idea as a whole. I might rig this up using a drill and do some beautifully turned chips tonight.

wagster, Feb 25 2005
  

       yeah i'm with wag. i want a baked potato lathe... i mean i want a potato lathe baked... i mean... ah forget it.

etherman, Feb 25 2005
  

       I read this title as 'Kitchen Hardware Chain, for Men Bioelectricgelatinous.'

RayfordSteele, Feb 25 2005
  

       made me laugh Steel.

zeno, Feb 25 2005
  

       [dentworth], there is no way known that I'll be deepfrying anything, naked. Fat spatters hurt... a lot.   

       That said, what do you have in mind?   

       By the way, men actually have a groove between their buttocks, just like women. Just saying...

UnaBubba, Feb 25 2005
  

       groovy, will work on it. ...done

dentworth, Feb 26 2005
  

       I guess it's an unpopular position to take, but I hate this idea. I think it's analogous to a Gay Football League. The interesting kitchen tools are cool, potato lathes and whatnot, but I just never thought "Home Improvement" was funny. If this idea is unironic, then I don't see it being at all marketable anyway. Big masculine bone.

Wisconsin, Feb 26 2005
  

       //Big masculine bone.//   

       <tries to suppress giggles behind hand>

Machiavelli, Feb 26 2005
  

       <struggles with straight face>

po, Feb 26 2005
  

       Were you wearing your bacon vest when you wrote that, [Wisconsin]?

UnaBubba, Feb 26 2005
  

       I want to use my chocolate ark welder - so I can join stuff together with chocolate.

DenholmRicshaw, Feb 26 2005
  

       It's coming up to Easter. You could fill your chocolate ark with chocolate rabbits, birds, bilbies, etc.

UnaBubba, Feb 26 2005
  

       //Bachelors, well, most bachelors, are pretty poor cooks.// Some guys cooked so bad they had to get married, even more than once after their moms kicked them away from the table.

mensmaximus, Feb 26 2005
  

       I cook as good as my mother, grandma and gf ;).(said by themselves :P)   

       Btw isn't this also a bit stereotyping?(just like most of you guys said about "All Women Army")

NeoPiter, Feb 28 2005
  

       Not really. This is a store where you can buy these things if you want.   

       You don't have to be a bachelor, to shop at it, the way you'd have to be female to be a member of "All Women Army". I'm a married accountant, with 2 kids and two kitchens, $40K worth of workshop and power tools, $30K worth of kitchen gadgets and more computers than most businesses. Am I a stereotype? probably, but one that's hard to define.   

       I haven't seen you around here, in your 6 months at the 'bakery, [NeoPiter]. Where have you been hiding?

UnaBubba, Feb 28 2005
  

       Ok, I got your point. No further explanations needed :).   

       I was out due to the failure the Bakery experienced. And also because I'm still not sure i'm clever enough to be around you guys ;).

NeoPiter, Feb 28 2005
  

       *Anyone* is clever enough to be around us guys.

angel, Feb 28 2005
  

       I'll take that as a compliment ?

NeoPiter, Feb 28 2005
  

       <Debates changing profile name to *Anyone*>   

       I think the thing that would set this apart from restaurant supply stores (which are very fun to visit) is having many of the tools be pneumatic. I like to imagine what your guests would think that they were having for dinner upon hearing tire shop sounds coming from the kitchen.   

       The kitchen would need to be outfitted with an air compressor and air manifold system along with hoses and quick-release fittings running under the counter edges and dangling from the ceiling. There could also be hydraulic dispensers for cooking oil, etc   

       The kitchen would more resemble a shop. Maybe Snap-On or Mac roll-away look kitchen cabinets could round out the design along with diamond-plate floors.   

       I remember I suggested this once before on some other kitchen idea.

bristolz, Feb 28 2005
  

       Could there be a big steam engine?

angel, Feb 28 2005
  

       That's the idea, [bris]. You know, tools used in rainy places like Seattle must be different to the ones used here. When it rains you see all of our tradesmen pack up and shoot through, because getting electrical tools wet is not all that clever. Your guys tend to use lots of air-powered stuff, don't they?

UnaBubba, Feb 28 2005
  


 
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