h a l f b a k e r y
Business Failure Incubator
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
or get an account
As we become increasingly obese, the need for overall fat-containment has become a talking point of heated contention all amongst the expanding community. To coincide with my previous discovery of the 'Big Man Second Belt and Christo Mu Mu', which holds well in place such larduous eruptions as Darwin's
Cleft, the Rear Water Wings, First to Third Auxillary Waists and all additional Flesh Patios - there is another area that has come to my attention, that without proper support will continue to cause bother amongst the morbidly obese.
It is the knee teats that i speak of, and had they nipples my dear friend, perhaps wild hogs would mistakenly suckle!
Upon entering the fitting station, your knee cup size is measured by a well oiled assistant. Once calculated, you may stop eating (just for a minute madam)to select a desired fabric. Shaped much like a normal bikini top, yet in single cup size - to accomodate the gelatinous mid-leg region of each sausage like trunk that somehow keeps the vast tectonic regions of the belly from enveloping all things not tied down into the heaving crevices of eternal darkness (as many survivors have described.)
Tie or fasten the knee bra at the back and return some confidence to your already hopeless situation.
big man second belt and christo mu mu
[benfrost, Mar 29 2005]
Spoken Word Performance Video of the idea above: Knee Bra
spoken word by ben frost @ pet cemetary at the oxford art factory, feb 7th 2008 [benfrost, Feb 12 2008]
Well oiled assistant
[normzone, Nov 10 2009]
||disturbing, but probably necessary.
||If I give you a croissant, can you find a way to clear this image from my mind?
||benfrost, what's your deal with fat
||we're sexy, baby! most of us. some.