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Know your friends

Use existing spy records to simplify your personal life
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(+1)
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A problem I'm sometimes facing is that I'm not sure exactly how close I am to some of my more distant friends - from their point of view. Would it be okay if I asked if I could borrow their car over the weekend, for instance? Would they be offended if I knocked on the door late in the night wanting to watch the game at their place cause my TV broke down? Do I know them well enough to bring up this or that at a dinner table discussion?

Now, the CIA, FBI, NSA, KGB etc. etc. all have detailed records of everybodys personal life, who know who, etc. right? Why not release parts of these records and put up a public database where everybody could simply enter a friends name and get information on how close friends they really are? Preferably it should be password protected or something like that, so that only the people concerned (apart from the CIA, FBI, NSA, KGB etc. etc. of course) can get access to their own friend database.

You would log in with your name and password, get a list of everybody the "national security" organizations, KGB etc. considers your friends (which is probably a pretty accurate list), select the half-friend in question, enter "Borrow car" and get a rating from 0 to 10 on how well it is likely to be recieved if you ask to borrow his/her car.

In the future when terrorist problems and such things have been dealt with, the espionage organizations will eventually have to find a new market. Why not a complete Personal Information Resource Center for the benefit of everyone? One could query it for things like what one's wife would _really_ like for dinner, if the new shirt is in fact ugly, where you parked you car, and so on. The possibilities are endless!

apanap, Nov 18 2003

Find out without government intervention http://www.blunttruthgame.com/
No invasion of privacy. [DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       I would be VERY surprised to find out that government agencies are wasting their time documenting my (and most other law-abiding citizens) personal life. I think there are higher priorities for tax dollars... like unpopular/unneccessary/unsuccessful wars
luecke, Nov 18 2003
  

       Big brother is watching, and coming to dinner on sunday.   

       You know when you're close with someone. If you have a doubt, then you're not. Don't even bother.
Pericles, Nov 18 2003
  

       Yeah - what [Pericles] said. If you have to rely on a government agency to tell you how close you are to your friends, then you don't have any.   

       (will this anno get attached to my personal MI5 file? Maybe I should have worded it better. And worn a different shirt. I didn't realise intelligence agencies were that meticulous...)
lostdog, Nov 18 2003
  

       I do like the idea of making the secret files of the spy agencies open to all - it certainly fits in with the US ideal of open government. Unfortunately, it would also be a gross invasion of privacy. Heck, it's bad enough the government knows this stuff about us (whatever it is), we surely don't want our neighbors to find about it, and we *really* don't want those identity thieves out in terra incognita to find out too.   

       While I fully sympathize with the people in East Germany and elsewhere where informing is used for no good purpose, we have had to "inform" on people here in the US (if you're wondering, significantly underage drinking and imminent suicide) - it's not an easy thing to do, and it wouldn't help anyone to broadcast it.
DrCurry, Nov 18 2003
  

       Am I supposed to answer? You completely misunderstand; the idea is not to find out about your close friends but about FOAFs and people like that in moments of urgency (like when the TV breaks down during an important game and everybody except some half-friend across town is abroad or something). Also, the information should not be open to everybody, only you can access your friend database entry.
apanap, Nov 18 2003
  

       erm... o... k... then   

       let's assume that someone gives you the password for their FBI file -> don't know about you [apanap], but I think I'd safely assume they see me as being a friend (or at least not a threat to their national security!)
seedy em, Nov 18 2003
  

       Well, then. It seems that [apanap]'s proposal may work after all.
half, Nov 18 2003
  

       in that case, why not just ask your 'friends' whether they 'would' give you their password to such a site, if such a site existed. that way there's no nigglesome security, administration, or maintenance concerns: just a quick 'hy-pathetic-al' question
seedy em, Nov 18 2003
  

       Argh, you just don't want to get it do you? You would log in with your name and password, get a list of everybody the "national security" organizations, KGB etc. considers your friends (which is probably a pretty accurate list), select the half-friend in question, enter "Borrow car" and get a rating from 0 to 10 on how well it is likely to be recieved if you ask to borrow his/her car. Simple.
apanap, Nov 18 2003
  

       //select the half-friend in question, enter "Borrow car" and get a rating from 0 to 10//   

       OK - now you've explained I think I do get it.   

       in that case: how is the rating calculated? does it have a diary function so it can ascertain whether I need my car that weekend? how will it know what your wife really wants for dinner?   

       Magic?   

       still a '-' from me
seedy em, Nov 18 2003
  

       <worry> Do I know my friend well enough to ask for their secret database password...</worry> [UB] Put your tongue away, it's starting to make me nervous.
Fishrat, Nov 19 2003
  

       [apnap] Can I borrow your car this weekend?
dobtabulous, Nov 19 2003
  

       I do not need anyone thinking they are better friendds with me then they really are. I have enough of that anyway. Just because you are a good friend does not mean I want you to stop by to ask to watch the game when i have that really cute guy with all the ripped stomach muscles all naked and tied down (or up). Maybe you should invest in a phone and ask them. Friends are made not goggle searched.
lizziepunkin, Nov 20 2003
  

       goggle search. I love me some of that.
k_sra, Nov 20 2003
  

       This one's a joke, right? And the author's just annotating to keep up the laughs, eh?   

       This is just so wrong, it's funny. "stalker.com"?
sophocles, Nov 20 2003
  

       This is seriously funny. I love it. And some of you are taking it way too seriously.   

       I'm in 'goggle' btw......apparently....
shytilwet, Mar 03 2004
  
      
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