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LASER-guided Precision Pothole Patcher
"Now, if you watch the location designated by the crosshairs, carefully..."
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Inspired by [lurch]'s Laparoscopic Road Repairs, I realised there was another way to do this job, without the problems generated by stopping traffic.

Firstly, get yourself a jet-powered helicopter, equipped with an extremely powerful heat gun (Like a giant hair dryer) This can be achieved by routing the jet exhaust downwards, through a controllable nozzle.

Find yourself a pothole.

Use the jetwash to dry out and eject any mud / water / slush / snow in the pothole, whilst hovering above it. Cars can mostly pass harmlessly through the hot air stream though it could get a bit messy if you are driving a convertible full of empty crisp packets and burger wrappers.

While this is going on, Use a miniature LASER scanner to map the dimensions of the hole exactly, creating a map for an onboard CNC router to carve an accurately shaped shell out of cold pitch. Drop a small LASER target designator into the hole.

Lift away to a couple of thousand feet, using military targetting jiggerypokery to track all approaching vehicles' paths and velocities, to determine the perfect launch moment.

Fill your routered shell with high viscosity road resurfacing goop and a couple of rapid heating and cooling grenades.

Launch your LASER-guided pothole bomb, steering it into the hole perfectly, where the heating devices detonate first, melting the pitch into the hole, then the cooling devices to set it all solid. Cars passing over it finish the job, rendering the repaired surface smooth and flat.

Move to the next pothole, YEEEEHAAAARRRR!


UnaBubba, Dec 18 2007

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       "...rapid heating and cooling grenades." Now available at WalMart!

phoenix, Dec 18 2007
  

       Thermite and liquid nitrogen? In grenades? At Walmart? Really?

UnaBubba, Dec 18 2007
  

       Why not? Jet-powered helicopters are on aisle 7.

phoenix, Dec 18 2007
  

       <Paris Hilton> I don't know what Walmart sells... Walls, maybe?</ph>

UnaBubba, Dec 18 2007
  

       I'm sure you could use a print on each new surface. Every passionate pilot who fixes potholes for a hobby could then have his nickname imprinted on the most circulated, best mantained streets.

sweet, Dec 18 2007
  

       I love it, but how do you paint little potholes on the side of the chopper?

MisterQED, Dec 18 2007
  

       [MisterQED], you might find that an FIM-92 Stinger will perform that task with some success. I think they have them at Walmart.

globaltourniquet, Dec 18 2007
  

       A MILAN (Missile d´infanterie léger antichar) would do the same thing, but its range was limited to about 2000m. Especially useful against fortified positions on the Falkland Islands, it was found.   

       The newer Javelin FGM-148 is apparently quite effective against helicopters when used in direct attack mode.

UnaBubba, Dec 18 2007
  

       I volunteer Mira Mesa Boulevard for the test runs.

normzone, Dec 19 2007
  
      
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