Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
What's a nice idea like yours doing in a place like this?

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                                                                                                                                                 

Large Halibut Collider

The truth will out
  (+9)(+9)
(+9)
  [vote for,
against]

Finally the truth can be told, that all those hints have not gone unnoticed was it the "large scale research" or just the idea of hadron collider seemed a bit fishy.

Reverse-engineered from the piscine-collider found in the Roswell UFO, the story of the Large Halibut Collider, shadow project to that boring old particle collider can finally be told.

Obviously "scale" points the way to the truth and did not Dr King himself give part of the game away when he said "I have a Bream" which was the real reason for his assassination, under the cover of being a simple Hake-crime.

Spawned in the cold war, the CIA operated a clandestine fish-slapping service as a Gobytween with other research agencies with the code name "John Doe-ry" under the guidance of Prof. Mummichog and his glamorous research assistant,Olive Flounder..the cover was nearly blown in the 1960's by a congressman who Smelt a rat in DOD figures concealing the research funding..

I tell you, you Betta believe it...but I won't Carp on about it..

Meanwhile on the other side of the Atlantic, the UK, under the code name "BIGSCALE POMFRE", with tighter budgetary constraints were working on a device with two stickelbacks in a jam-jar, under the guidance of Magnus Pike..

Meanwhile in China, the government were experimenting with two (dead) shrimps in a vice, in a project codenamed by NATO"YELLOWMARGIN TRIGGERFISH". Seeking either cold fusion, or a quick way way to make shrimp paste, the committee was overseen by Dr Morwong and his not at all glamorous male assistant Tilapia.

Also meanwhile, following up some clues left by the ancients in the Dead Sea Krills, the noted ex-Nazi mystic Luderick Medaka was getting closer to the cod particle (credit UnaBubba).

it was the "I am the fisher of men" comment that gave away the eventual secret batter recipe that Pontius Pilot(fish) was so concerned to suppress at any cost...and it was a misreading of the original Hebrew script that misled Leonardo da Vinci on the quantity of flour to milk and so the Da Vinci Cod conundrum came to be..

It also provides a more coherent reason for gulf war. It was to provide cover for those looking for the cuneiform tablets describing shaman fish collision techniques in ancient Mesopotamia (possible Enki connection?)..which would explain why the US contractor Halibut(on) had so many people on the ground.

not_morrison_rm, May 14 2012

don't blame me, it's all wikipedia's fault http://en.wikipedia...f_common_fish_names
[not_morrison_rm, May 14 2012]

Magnus Pike http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnus_Pyke
Gone but definitely unforgettable [not_morrison_rm, May 14 2012]

Tenpounder http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tenpounder
..which is predictably, a fish [not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012]

Barramundi http://www.google.c...AQ&biw=1780&bih=925
[UnaBubba, May 15 2012]

Scophthalmus rhombus, they're brill !... http://en.wikipedia...ki/Brill_%28fish%29
[not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012]

Plaice names in Poland.. http://en.wikipedia...and_towns_in_Poland
[not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gramsh [not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puk%C3%AB [not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ballsh [not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]

Moron, Mongolia http://mapru.com/en/cat105/27146-.html
[not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012]

Desolation Sound, B.C. http://en.wikipedia...ki/Desolation_Sound
How did we get onto place names again? [AusCan531, May 18 2012]

Iceland, the supermarket http://www.iceland.co.uk/
..their Ham & Mushroom Pizza ain't too bad for a quid [not_morrison_rm, May 18 2012]

[link]






       heh!   

       A paraphyletic taxon monophyletic taxon collider. [+]
skinflaps, May 14 2012
  

       This is all just a red herring ...
8th of 7, May 14 2012
  

       //paraphyletic taxon monophyletic taxon //
Cod Latin?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 14 2012
  

       Now "Yellowmargin triggerfish" that's a bugger to fit in there..
not_morrison_rm, May 14 2012
  

       It's not clear what porpoise this will serve … you plan to take a particle accelerator and fillet with fish ?
8th of 7, May 14 2012
  

       Whatever it's for, it puts the fear of cod into me.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 14 2012
  

       No doubt some offshoot technology will be of use to sturgeons, but I think they really just want to trout the value of pure scientific research.
Alterother, May 14 2012
  

       Since colliders rely on very high vacuum, the designers will have to give special consideration to seals…
8th of 7, May 14 2012
  

       Looking for The Cod Particle, I presume.
UnaBubba, May 14 2012
  

       ^[marked-for-tagline]
FlyingToaster, May 14 2012
  

       >you plan to take a particle accelerator and fillet with fish   

       That does sound the weirdest ever McDonalds order "Fillet of Fish and particle accelerator..is that to go?"   

       it's knackering adding all the extra writing in...and I still haven't managed to fit in the "Triplefin blenny" yet..
not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012
  

       Can I borrow your barrow, Monday? I'll slip you that sick squid I owe you, when I pick it up.
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       >I'll slip you that sick squid I owe you, when I pick it up.   

       Ahh, the old "lend me a Tenpounder (see link) and I'll buy you a drink" approach. I warn you, that barrow, it's turbot-charged.
not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012
  

       Lates calcarifer
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       Amphiprioninae Pomacentridae
not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012
  

       Flying fish!   

       (sorry, its late and I'm tired and thats the best that I can do)
AusCan531, May 15 2012
  

       That's ok, sometimes it's better not to flounder around, I might go so far as to say it was Scophthalmus rhombus!
not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012
  

       Grind the fish's brain up into a small enough pulp, add some Jell-O into a ring, and you could feed it into the Large Neuron Colloider.
RayfordSteele, May 15 2012
  

       Salmon Rushdie should have a thing or two to say about this!
sqeaketh the wheel, May 15 2012
  

       >Large Neuron Colloider. painful!   

       My god...the US contractor Halibut(on), so that explains the gulf war, Saddam possibly stumbling upon..   

       (incorporated into main text/rant/grounds for committal to Arkham asylum/columnist for the Daily Telegraph application [delete as applicable])
not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012
  

       Salmon Rushdie can take an' shove 'is views on this idea.
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       >Salmon Rushdie..   

       Hmm, I've always had my doubts about him..   

       >can take an' shove 'is views on this   

       :-)
not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012
  

       ><))))))}°>
UnaBubba, May 15 2012
  

       Okay, I give up, no more fish name stuff...
not_morrison_rm, May 16 2012
  

       Except of course for Clupea harengus (Sild) Vicious and his contribution to "Never mind the Pollachius pollachius's (Pollack/s)"..he was a Limanda limanda (Dab) hand with the Micropterus (Bass) guitar...   

       Ok, really finished..honest guv.
not_morrison_rm, May 16 2012
  

       ><))))))}°/_ ..... .. ><"°>   

       ___
sqeaketh the wheel, May 16 2012
  

       You are unhappy with the quality of your gorilla gelato?!
Alterother, May 16 2012
  

       Clearly so.   

       Ask him if he knows the whereabouts of the steamroller of the shopkeeper's grandmother (use 'du', 'de la' or 'des' as appropriate. Write on both sides of the paper).
8th of 7, May 16 2012
  

       [bigsleep], es du gnostem un deca-deciquatrum de la tragula mobilus hydrovaporicum de la avia das du cauponarius rhinoceros?   

       (see reverse side)
Alterother, May 16 2012
  

       //non satis gelata et apes   

       or possibly unhappy with the iced bees, as we all must have bee-n at some point in out lives.   

       nrm co. customer services..."If you wish to speak to a customer adviser please press F2, if you wish to insert rubber ducks press F3, if you wish to put your underpants on your head press F4, to hear these options again press F5"
not_morrison_rm, May 16 2012
  

       <F6>
8th of 7, May 16 2012
  

       <F u>
AusCan531, May 16 2012
  

       After which we're probably headed for Piltdown, man!
UnaBubba, May 17 2012
  

       //smelt-down   

       //congressman who Smelt a rat in DOD figures   

       repetition of Smelt..anyway I'm onto names of rocks, but that is a bit schist..   

       So I'm toying with east European plaice names..as I sit here.. maybe I'm Góra have a coffee in Star (bucks)achowice, but those cups are little Tychy for the price.
not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012
  

       You're beginning to flounder, aren't you?
UnaBubba, May 17 2012
  

       He's just playing out of tuna.
Alterother, May 17 2012
  

       Just taking a brief moray into surreality.
UnaBubba, May 17 2012
  

       I think we all eel like doing that sometimes.
Alterother, May 17 2012
  

       //<F6>   

       F6 is "To stop the voices in your head take off the headphones"
not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012
  

       Come on, if it were that easy, I would have tought of it yea-- wait, hang on.   

       Nope, didn't work.   

       We now return to the regularly scheduled fish puns.
Alterother, May 17 2012
  

       No fluke there.   

       Shant! Small towns in East Europe it is...I mean if you eat 100 Gramsh of printer toner you're sure to Pukë and I ain't talking Ballsh..(see respective links)   

       Piscine names are so May 14th..
not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012
  

       Hey, poster, leave that ab alone.
UnaBubba, May 17 2012
  

       ..and that's not even including Moron, in Mongolia. See link.   

       Quite tempted to go there, I might fit in.
not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012
  

       not to mention Inaccessible Island, or Cape Disappointment...
not_morrison_rm, May 17 2012
  

       Inaccessible Island... sounds like a challenge.
UnaBubba, May 18 2012
  

       //because the Dutch crew who landed were not able to get further inland than the beach, as they were blocked by 1000-foot high cliffs.   

       Does tend to put a damper on the old exploratory tendencies.   

       I just like places given very honest names by their finders..unlike Greenland for example. Or Nylstroom...they really could have done with GPS..
not_morrison_rm, May 18 2012
  

       Desolation Sound in British Columbia [link] is actually very beautiful despite the name given to it by Captain Vancouver.
AusCan531, May 18 2012
  

       Greenland was green when it was named, about 850 years ago. It got a lot whiter by about 1400, as everything cooled down.
UnaBubba, May 18 2012
  

       //whiter by about 1400, as everything cooled down. Surely everything goes darker as it cools? Otherwise pyrometers wouldn't work..
not_morrison_rm, May 18 2012
  

       Iceland...what's wrong with visitors from a supermarket?
not_morrison_rm, May 18 2012
  

       um, it's not large enough to house them all?
RayfordSteele, May 18 2012
  

       Greenland was home to a fairly large community of cattle herders, who farmed the ice-free coastal strip, until the early onset of the Little Ice Age, I think you'll find.   

       Many of them moved to Greenland after the ecological damage done by their herds, to the relatively ice-free but fragile soils of Iceland, made it less viable to herd cattle there. Most of them moved on from Greenland, with some of them settling on the northeastern coast of the Americas, but competition from the natives made it too hard to maintain their settlements.   

       Jared Diamond examines it in Collapse, from memory.
UnaBubba, May 18 2012
  

       //Jared Diamond examines it in Collapse, from memory   

       I can't remember what I ate yesterday for lunch and yet Jared can remember the Little Ice age..monkey glands..
not_morrison_rm, May 19 2012
  

       Doh!
I hit delete instead of edit on my previous anno.
  

       Turns out Iceland was not named to deter invaders but Greenland was named to attract colonists:   

       That's what I've read in multiple books.
Alterother, May 19 2012
  

       Well its not true until you've read it on the Internet.
AusCan531, May 19 2012
  

       That's not true.
Alterother, May 19 2012
  

       Necessary but not sufficient.
AusCan531, May 19 2012
  

       //That's not true.   

       Oguz, I'm (Ag)dam Shir(van) some internet facts are Saatly Shaki, if not 100% (Ordu)bad.   

       Tartar for now..   

       (place names c/o Azerbaijan)
not_morrison_rm, May 19 2012
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle