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Liar Diary
A Liary... it's pretty much my favourite thing. It's like a liar and a diary mixed. | |
Someone famous once said, "If I never lied, I wouldn't need to remember anything". An adept observation, as I only remember this quote because I am a flagrant liar.
The Liar Diary is a record for all the lies that a person tells so they needn't be overburdened by both the truth and what they are
trying to pass off as the truth.
It would function like a day planner but instead be a lie planner. Instead of a to do list it would have a list of lies. When the user lies, they record the lie in the section provided for the day it was told. That lie is then carried forward everyday until it has been retired.
The Liar Diary can help a liar retire old lies a number of ways, here are three: the first is through consolidation. This is when a bunch of separate lies are incorporated into an easier to deal with super-lie. The second is through forgetting. The Liar Diary can help determine an appropriately realistic time to start telling people you forget certain details from the past. The third is follow-ups. A lie can be quickly retired if you reinforce it enough times, removing all doubt from the minds of the deceived.
Buy the Liar Diary today an never lead a life rich with inconsistencies ever again!
Then again, maybe this is his favorite
http://www.tyfinwal...s.co.uk/blasi1.html
Liary Blasi wallpaper [normzone, Jan 11 2006]
My Life Bits
http://research.mic...nce/MyLifeBits.aspx
A project from Gordon Bell. [bristolz, Jan 11 2006]
Annotation:
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"it's pretty much my favourite thing"...you're just making that up, aren't you? |
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"Everything I say is a lie." |
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He speaks in half-truths. |
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When you lie, lie from your gut,
not your heart or head. |
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On the "life bits" link, the problem would be that it would either need to be private or what you were hiding would need to be excluded from the Life Bits itself. Concerning the liary, what if someone read it? Dear God no!
I think it would either have to be in code or invisible ink, only visible with special glasses or something. Scary stuff. |
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So I guess you could brand this product as the Liary. |
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Excellent! if you are an unashamed liar. I try my hardest to tell the truth... |
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Another way a lie can be removed is to slowly "fix" it. I.E. Do the things that you lied that you had already done. This possibly will leave some uncovered inconsistancies or "lie fragments" that could still catch you out, but a full fix is sometimes possible. |
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I've given you a bun, honest!! |
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You do realise that the people who would use this most would deny that they need it, and that applies to these annotations too. Make of this annotation what you will, and maybe also the votes. |
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I find that the best way to make a lie believeable is to quickly respond with the lie and then quickly try to correct it with the truth. But when you tell the truth keep stuttering and repeating the facts and saying things like "Yeah.. uh huh.. that's it." In a manner where you flip the truth around to make it appear that the lie is the REAL truth. |
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For example: I didn't want my friends to know that I struck out with the ladies at a party we attended so when they asked me if I managed to get lucky, my response was, "YEAH! Err.. ummm I mean.. No.. No I didnt.. really.. I didn't" And they all laughed at me and said, "Yeah.. I know he was the super stud last night but doesnt anyone to know." I was able to save my reputation- Thanks to the Liar Diary! |
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Yeah that's an excellent technique. Works for many things.
Boss. Why were you late for work this morning?
You. Oh jeez, I had this bad case of diarrh... I slept in, sorry.
Boss. Ok, alright. don't make a habit of it. *winks* |
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Then of course you would write in your Liary: " Boss thinks I have diarrhea." I personally suggest the follow-up technique. |
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Just make sure you don't actually write 'Liar Diary' on it, because if you left it lying (ha-ha) around you'd be in a bit of a pickle. |
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You could label it as "Expense Report Year End Pre-Tax Calculations 2004/2005". |
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Ironically, You would have to record this fresh lie inside the diary too..... |
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As politicians the world over can tell you, the best way to back out of a lie is to just deny that you ever said it, or claim that what you said was misunderstood or taken out of context. Or hedge what you say with so many caveats that it's never really clear whether you actually said anything at all. That way you never have to keep track of any of your lies.
But whichever method you choose, I suspect that all of them to a man/woman would throw their hands up in horror at the suggestion that they should write all their lies down and, what is more, in a handy and easily portable format. That's just asking for trouble. |
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This is truly ground-breaking. Big bun for a fully baked idea. |
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