The surprise, no, state of sheer incredulity in which this is written is heightened by the fact that laundry dryers are already extremely wasteful. Not only do they use a tremendous amount of energy, but the fact that thousands of lone socks are needlessly teleported to unknown dimensions by some unexplainable phenomena should be justification enough for prudent people to reduce wastefulness.

The Lint Weaver is a scaled down version of the spinning jenny and the weaving machine, that can be retrofitted to any old dryer. The spinning jenny component, which is powered by the dryer motor, produces a lovely yarn which is fed into the weaver by a mechanism that in this schematic serves the function of the hand of a small child. The weaver, using rapidly moving sharp hooks and needles shapes the yarn into a number of possible items.

After a few loads of laundry, simply remove the lint trap and find, instead of a pile of lint, a mitten or a replacement sock. The possibilities are endless. One possible implication of the prevalence of Lint Weaver technology will be an increase in the wearing of Velcro, which people will undoubtedly use to harvest the lint from the clothes of those closest to them.