h a l f b a k e r y
"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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When liposuction goes wrong it leaves a
series of puckered
dimples around the midriff area, that
consternation to their unfortunate
recipients. The solution
this problem has always been known and
evident in the
examples of traditional sofas and chairs,
with round studs to gather and provide
structure to the
Lipo-buttons serve a similar decorative
function for the lipo-gone-wrong victim,
so that they can
better emulate the luxurious furniture
they now resemble.
Buttons are held in place with a simple
lace that loops
through a ring piercing in the centre of
the dimple, and
in a variety of colours, sizes and
textures. Ones with long
tassels facilitate and encourage
spectacular displays when
belly area is exposed during episodes of
The advertising photograph to launch the
range will consist
a line of unabashed models proudly
their dimpled midriffs sprayed red, then
polished to a
gentle gloss, in imitation of a row of
empty leather seats at
the House of Lords.
||"Can I sit on your lap? The upholstery looks comfy."
||Do you get some spare buttons incase you lose some?
||Very creative. I can almost bring myself to vote for it.
||<pedant> The seats in the house of Lords are red leather, with buttons. The seats in the house of Commons are green pleated leather, with no buttons.
||dear Minimal pedant... thank you for making me see the
error of my ways.... corrected!
||I've got the image of all of those fat Lords in the house, naked and painted red, lounging on those benches and covered in buttons...Ik!
||I thought that thsi was about implanting fake-fat rubbery buttons under the skin to give the appearance of normality, not button piercing.
||Truly, a fashion statement for the 21st century. [+]
||Lending to the question "Does the carpet match the upholstery?"