h a l f b a k e r y
"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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The Lipo-Flamethrower is exactly what its prefix suggests: a
flamethrower fueled by fat. And not just any fat: human fat.
brilliant new weapon/peacekeeping device/beehive remover
connects, by means of an ingenious suction tube, to the user's
butt, midsection or thighs, eliminating the
need to carry around
heavy tank of incendiary fuel. At the pull of a trigger, fat spews
forth from the user's reserves and is jettisoned out of a nozzle,
bursting into flame in the process and striking fear into all who
witness the act.
This "weapon" will, in fact, end war and cause world peace.
because of the following events which will occur after the Lipo-
First, dominance in war will shift to the world's most morbidly
obese countries: Samoa and Nauru. However, all the fat people
of the world, after being drafted to their countries' respective
armies, will soon use up their fat in combat, thus solving the
global obesity problem. Afterwards, the now-incredible
of waging war without fat people will lead all countries to give
war entirely, leading to peace. Eventually, however, people
become fat again and the cycle will begin anew. Alas...!
Integral component -
"SOLDIER, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE THIS WEAPON APART AND PUT IT BACK TOGETHER AGAIN BLINDFOLDED WHEN I AM DONE WITH YOU" [normzone, May 09 2011]
||You realise that this will hand over control of your planet to the
McDonalds corporation? Oh, wait
||Excellent! <burp> Pass me that cheeseburger, I don't want to run low on fuel... [+]
||Your ass is grass and I'm a lawnmower becomes your ass is gas and I'm a flamethrower or something to that effect.
||Or, your arse is grahss...