h a l f b a k e r y
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The fruit stall down on the corner is great. It has big fresh Braeburn apples, juicy nashi, luscious red strawberries, packs of sweet California dates... The range is almost endless.
Rather than go down there to get a snack, I'd like to be able to crack open the window, here on the 30th floor,
and order a punnet of strawberries.
Carlos, the stallholder, simply loads them into the compressed air mortar tube, and FWOOMPHFF!... the item flys gently through my window, to be enjoyed.
Ranging shots may take a while to figure out, but eventually most of the windows within range will be mapped, and co-ordinates and charge calculations stored in the gunnery control system.
Ballistic Delivery Service
http://www.halfbake...0Delivery_20Service
related idea by [philthechill] [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
The Spudgun Tech Center
http://www.spudtech.com/
Potato rifles, both ignition and pneumatic based. [Laughs Last, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Produce Test Firings
http://burntlatke.q...e.com/rifle150.html
Smooth bore, rifled, and vented barrels tested. [Laughs Last, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Annotation:
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One potato, coming right up! + |
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No clue what a punnet of nashis is, but I like the idea. Does Carlos have any pastries down there? |
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Lunch is baked. Mortars are baked. I don't see any idea here. :P |
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Now now, DeathNinja just because
you are always wrong and
everyone else is always right is no
reason to, say, kill someone with
death. |
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Potato guns are baked but I don't
think people eat the contents of
any food shooting gun afterwards.
But that would be a good contest.
The person who can shoot furthest
a morsel of food that is mostly
intact. |
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Judgement would be according to
distance, accuracy, complexity of
the food item, and protective
casing mass. For example, if you
could shoot a flaming baked
alaska 500 meters near one of the
goals and for protection have a
paper plate, large bag and some
string, instead of hard plastic and
100 lbs. of foam. |
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Delete buttons are baked. I don't see any [DeathNinja] here. UB^) |
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[grip], no pastries, just fruit and bottled water. A nashi is what you probably call a Japanese Sand Pear. |
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Perhaps a rocket, up the wire? We're good with rockets, here. |
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Or Carlos could climb the stairs. |
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At the ballpark, they launch hotdogs out of air-powered
mortars into the crowd. They have a range of about one
or two hundred feet, hard to tell. |
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Maybe the product could be flash-cooked as a result of the explosions. Fresh hot chestnuts, for example, or [baked] potatoes. You would have to wear oven mitts to catch them. |
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Or maybe it could have a laser on
the launcher for guidence and
cooking of the food in question.
This would need to be robotically
assisted but here's how it would
work. |
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If you have ever seen the laser
propelled craft that heat up the air
causing a small explosion then
you know what I am talking about.
Not only could you have your food
precisely cooked the way you want
but then the laser could kick into
higher power and vaporize a small
chunk out of the food sending it
higher or in a different direction.
The laser could even slow down
the food in question or make it
hover for a split second and go
gently into your window. Ooooh
careful hot. |
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[UB], what if you work in the basement with no windows? |
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//The item flies briskly through your window (whether it is opened or not), to be cleaned off the walls at a later time.//
With proper aim and velocity, from just below the building, the lunch munitions will reach the apex of their trajectory at a height just above the window sill traveling 0 meters per second up/down (z-axis), and very slowly in the x-y plane. A 2 foot drop down to the desk may cause a small amount of dishevelment to hotdog condiments, no damage to fruit. |
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Apples, oranges, bottled water, or smaller items inside a spherical or cylindrical package should fare just fine, with some bruising. Potato gun rounds usually stay coherent. See links. |
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//what if you work in the basement with no windows?// |
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In that case, my dear k_sra, I doubt you can afford buying fresh fruit anyways. |
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Three cream-coated strawberries onto my outstretched tongue, puhleeze. |
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Use in conjunction with the Palate Nonstick Spray for a
highly efficient eating experience (flies in the window and
slides right down the throat). |
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Not so good, with a 600ml bottle of water, in PET bottle. |
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The idea here was that the velocity and trajectory be computer-controlled, to ensure gentle delivery, with the item at its apogee of travel just as it crosses the windowsill. |
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I would like the idea of having to spear gun my lunch.
PULL! |
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Or you could get off your fat chuff and walk down to the street and buy your lunch and have a bit of fresh air and exercise at the same time. |
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Where's the sport in that? |
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//Or you could get off your fat chuff // |
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I'd like to hear you say that if you were in the room with me. I consider going out to lunch to be a criminal waste of billable time. I guess things aren't so busy in the Land Of The Long White Cloud Of Cannabis Fumes? |
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Well [Rods], that leaves those of us who have no choice but working for somebody else looking very bad. Or if not, at least FEELING very bad. |
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I get your point though, and I agree with you. I only wish I had the capital to start my own business... I could even begin delivering food through people's windows. |
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Close. This place is really a forum for bored, moderately intelligent folks to show off, and play word games, with each other. What you said, though a lot fewer words. |
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*That* is not a bar fight. I've been in a lot of bar fights, and that ain't one. Oh, and trust me on the sunscreen. |
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//In that case, my dear k_sra, I doubt you can afford buying fresh fruit anyways.// |
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We deliver free, for charity cases, [k_sra]. |
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Don't threaten me (UB). Its very unbecoming. I don't smoke or otherwise ingest cannabis. I have in the past, and its not a bad way to chill out. But I don't now. And if you're so worried about wasting billable time, how come you spend soooo much time here? just wondering.
p.s. yep, its pretty quiet over here at the mo'. Thats why I came to live here. |
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Yeah! My very own charity case! Now, what to put in it...? |
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I wasn't threatening you, you dill. And if you took the cannabis thing personally then that's your own lookout. |
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Because I spend all day in front of a computer... like from 5:30am until about 11pm, on many days. |
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