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Machine Name Name Supply

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The languages of the world are clearly deficient in many ways. A thing gets invented, people get lots of those, and it still hasn’t got a name of its own, simply a primitive descriptor of what it does, with the word “machine” tagged onto it.

For example: fax machine; coffee machine; vending machine; sewing machine; silver machine; time machine, etc.

I regard it as highly unacceptable that these machines actually have no name of their own, and clearly the concept is unfinished until a new word all to its own is given to it.

Imagine the dialogue upon invention:

“Behold my new invention! It’s a machine for sending faxes!”
“Cool, what are you going to call it?”
“Er, the fax machine, I suppose”.

Or even

“Behold my new invention! It’s a machine for brewing and dispensing coffee!”
“Cool, what are you going to call it?”
“Er, the coffee machine, I suppose”.

Or even

“Behold my new invention! It’s a machine for washing clothes!”
“Cool, what are you going to call it?”
“Er, the washing machine, I suppose”.

Or even

“Behold my new invention! It’s a machine for sewing fabric!”
“Cool, what are you going to call it?”
“Er, the sewing machine, I suppose”.

…and sew on.

Other machines have actual words, proper names, real words. A kettle isn’t called a water hotting machine. A fridge isn’t a food chilling machine. An aeroplane isn’t a flying machine (well, unless flown by magnificent men). A camera isn’t a picture making machine. A television isn’t a visual displaying machine. A radio isn’t a carrier frequency signal demodulation machine. The Enigma wasn’t a coding- decoding machine. A shed isn’t a spider accumulation machine. A bus isn’t a work going to machine. A Rockwell Orbiter isn’t an O- ring testing machine. A vuvuzela isn’t a honking machine.

There should be actual words. Just calling a thing a what- it- does machine is frankly not good enough (oh yes, franking machine). I don’t know where we’d put these words, or who supplies them, or who chooses the winner, but dammit, this situation has to stop!

Ian Tindale, Sep 18 2015

Random pronounceable word generator http://www.feldarkr...words/#.Vf95WPSZYZA
Pick a thing, generate a word, use that as name. Henceforth the fax machine is known as the "bibiter". That's one down, shall I continue? [tatterdemalion, Sep 21 2015]

[link]






       The first several examples you list in the "real name" category are all real names, just in latin or greek, or technical jargon.
MechE, Sep 18 2015
  

       //...are all real names, just in latin or greek...// - or Latin *and* Greek, in the case of 'television'.
hippo, Sep 18 2015
  

       I disagree. English already has stacks of words; most people don't even know the meaning of perfectly commonplace words like 'heuristic'. There's no need to go cluttering the dictionary up with more rarely used ones.   

       However, if an item is popular, one just has to wait for the trademark to be genericised.
Loris, Sep 18 2015
  

       This idea needs a better name. How about Maynard?
tatterdemalion, Sep 18 2015
  

       If you wish. It’ll match another of my ideas, called “Cyril”.
Ian Tindale, Sep 18 2015
  

       Very good, a precedent set.   

       Dennis? I mean, for the idea, not that you are Dennis, but if you are, not that you aren't Dennis.
tatterdemalion, Sep 19 2015
  

       rant/WIBNI/let's all [+]
Voice, Sep 19 2015
  

       Well, everything is. This whole website is full of nothing but that. Your entire life is nothing but that. What else could possibly have stimulated the creation of this superset of universes? All of reality, including the subset of life, is caused by difference between expectation and result of agency.
Ian Tindale, Sep 19 2015
  

       This process ought to be automated, in fact once someone has successfully automated such a task, they might build a device who's specialised purpose is to serve this particular function.
zen_tom, Sep 19 2015
  

       //The first two annos pretty much kill the idea.//   

       Uh, how so? The idea was that machines whose existing names are of the type "purpose+machine" should have names of their own. Some do (kettle, television), but some don't (washing machine, fax machine). The idea suggests that the ones that don't, should.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2015
  

       //hyperbolic in its rhetoric and a let's all//   

       Well, you're right about the hyperbole and, heavens know, the Halfbakery is no place for hyperbole. Never in a million years has there been hyperbole on the HB, and anyone found using it ought to be bloody well hung (I have no idea if [Ian] is).   

       As for let's all - well, fair point. What is needed to salvage this idea from letsaldom is a proposal for a machine to generate the names. What it would be called is anyone's guess.   

       [+]
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2015
  

       Best get a move on with this, before all the unused words get claimed by drug manufacturers and quirky web site domains.
tatterdemalion, Sep 19 2015
  

       Television is not spelled or pronounced anything like remote viewing machine. Television has ten letters, not 22 — the checksum would be entirely different, therefore it’s an entirely different name. Kettle doesn’t sound at all like pot. Kettle has more letters and more syllables. It’s a totally different name. When someone says ‘fridge’ or ‘camera’, they’re not speaking latin or greek, but English. I’ve never even been to latvia.
Ian Tindale, Sep 19 2015
  

       //Kettle doesn’t sound at all like pot. Kettle has more letters and more syllables. It’s a totally different name.//   

       Bigsleep's point about 'kettle' was that it's an old name transposed to a new machine. A kettle was originally a particular sort of cooking pot (derives from 'cauldron'). There are clues around, if you look for them : a 'fish kettle' is a long pot, and the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" is from the days when both were heated over a solid fuel fire, and would be equally black from soot.
And that there were different names for different pots proves my comment about popular things getting their own names eventually.
Loris, Sep 19 2015
  

       Who cares what it was. I don’t remember kettles being other than kettles. What it is now is the precise and unambiguous sound ‘kettle’.
Ian Tindale, Sep 19 2015
  

       Beyond sewing, washing, fax and coffee, are there any other namelessly named machines?
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2015
  

       //Rowing machine//   

       Well, there you go then. The need for this idea appears to be growing.   

       Of course, one option is to simply remove the space, thereby creating a new word, such as "rowingmachine". "Breadmaker" already appears to be losing its hyphen.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 19 2015
  

       Quite. Like "Scunthorpe".
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 20 2015
  

       A few suggestions, from a flippant and brutal mangling of loosely related Latin words:   

       lautusdor   

       teleffidor   

       misceodor   

       suodor   

       transtempudor   

       Translation is left as an exercise for the reader. [+] all the same, as more specific vocabulary generally (in U.S.A. English) creates brevity.
absterge, Sep 20 2015
  

       As with vacuum-cleaner, and dish-washer I like to name things by what they do rather than the type of machine they are, like bean-brewer and nail-whacker.   

       "Who chooses these words?" I'll tell you who, middle aged farts who can't remember s#%^ in the middle of a friggin sentence the ringing machine goes off and another well on the way to being a good story dissolves in a puddle of mixed syllables and half um. What?
dentworth, Sep 20 2015
  

       Since a vacuum cleaner doesn't clean vacuums it doesn't belong on your two item list.
Voice, Sep 21 2015
  

       // As with vacuum-cleaner, and dish-washer I like to name things by what they do rather than the type of machine they are, like bean-brewer and nail-whacker.   

       And pig fucker. (Do prime ministers minister primes?)   

       // Since a vacuum cleaner doesn't clean vacuums   

       It could clean vacuums if that's what you used it for. Vacuums tend to be clean already by their absence of stuff. Pencil erasers don't erase pencils, though, hence the problem with this convention, it requires a level of precision that isn't worth the bother.
tatterdemalion, Sep 21 2015
  

       So what your proposing is a naming machine?
popbottle, Sep 22 2015
  

       tatterdemalion, — that random word generator is excellent. That’s the sort of thing to use. I was imagining doing the entire process by hand, manually, as a human. For example, I’ve always though that a good sounding word for a thing that hasn’t been used by an actual thing is Fredulin. Washing machines haven’t got an actual name, they’re a washing machine, but we end up calling it a washing machine because there’s no other name. So perhaps it should be called a fredulin. What’s a fredulin? It’s a machine that does the washing — a washing machine, as it were.   

       I expect that there are many other words that people have had lying around for years, even from childhood, that still have no actual home to go to. Couple this with the alarming amount of thinging machines we have, each of which could have a real name instead. I think it has to be done.   

       One should ignore the realisation that almost any made-up mixture of syllables will actually be someone’s name, somewhere in the world. That’s inevitable, and shouldn’t get in the way of this.
Ian Tindale, Sep 22 2015
  

       // any made-up mixture of syllables will actually be someone’s name, somewhere in the world. That’s inevitable, and shouldn’t get in the way of this.//   

       That's all well and good until you find yourself saying "the spare plates are still in the hitler".
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 22 2015
  

       [popbottle] calls a spade a spade.
blissmiss, Sep 22 2015
  

       I support the new washing machine name and will advocate its use among my 43 twitter followers #fredulin.   

       Branding is one way to accomplish this. Zippers and yo-yos and aspirin and Hoovers (in the UK, I know because I googled it). Maybe there is a way to create open-source public domain style brand names for things.
tatterdemalion, Sep 22 2015
  
      
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