Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Magnetic Cheese

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I'm sure someone has done this idea before, but I can't find it?

1) Get loads of teeny steel filings, mix in with melted cheese in ready meal tub.Quickly get a yuuge magnet to sort them out N-S wise. Problem - bit crunchy if you have to eat it.

2) Melt half the cheese into empty ready meal tub, let it set. Drop in a bar magnet, melt the other half of the cheese etc.

3) Go to Orienteering club meetings, until thrown out.

( Wonders if there shouldn't it be called an Occidenteering club in the West?)

not_morrison_rm, Nov 01 2018

Moss growing on trees at the equator http://scienceline....getkey.php?key=1053
A spot of light reading [not_morrison_rm, Nov 08 2018]

Cheese-effect nail polish. https://www.ebay.co...p5713.c100041.m2061
Obvious when you think of it. [MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 12 2018]

[link]






       // iron filings //   

       Iron filings don't acquire permanent magnetism when exposed to an external field; you need steel filings, where the domains become permanently aligned.   

       // crunchy if you have to eat it //   

       Indeed. If you eat iron filings, you end up needing amalgam fillings.
8th of 7, Nov 01 2018
  

       Thank goodness this has not provoked a round of cheese puns. We must tread caerphilly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 01 2018
  

       //tread caerphilly// Edamn!! - I was going to do that one
hippo, Nov 01 2018
  

       ^ Edit,the borg is correct, so steel filings it is.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 01 2018
  

       This sounds a bit heavy on the gut.
RayfordSteele, Nov 01 2018
  

       // the borg is correct //   

       Sp., Gr. "The Borg are correct".
8th of 7, Nov 01 2018
  

       Oooh, you and your plural nouns.   

       Been thinking for applications, sneak one under the bumper (fender) of a car, and the limburger scent would be eminently trackable.   

       And for my next trick, the Captain Oates Exoskeletons and the ...override function.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 01 2018
  

       //We must tread caerphilly.//   

       Agreed, I camembert bad puns.
doctorremulac3, Nov 01 2018
  

       //We must tread caerphilly.//   

       Seems unhygienic to me.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 01 2018
  

       Yes, it sounds like it curd be unpleasant, what ever whey you say it.
8th of 7, Nov 01 2018
  

       It’s not yet a feta compli.
Ian Tindale, Nov 01 2018
  

       Could we not create a standardised list of cheese puns, in order of escalation, for use here? Perhaps as part of the "help" file? Obviously, "brie", "Caerphilly", "gouda" and "feta" would be opening gambits, with the trickier ones like "emmental" and "camembert" further down the list.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 02 2018
  

       Akkwait like this tradition.
Voice, Nov 02 2018
  

       //Could we not create a standardized list of cheese puns, in order of escalation, for use here?//   

       That would be whey too hard.   

       <BZZZZZZZT> Challenge, Mr. chairman - repetition of "whey".
8th of 7, Nov 02 2018
  

       It’d have to be easily read, lest the information be accidentally missed.
Ian Tindale, Nov 02 2018
  

       There are Stil-tons of cheese puns left to use. Hallaloumi!!!
hippo, Nov 02 2018
  

       I want to complain, the Akkawai cheese alluded to by Voice, refers to the city of Acre.   

       I can only say that they are producing cheese under false pretences.   

       The most cursory search shows that Acre is actually about 5,559.871 acres in size now.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 02 2018
  

       //<BZZZZZZZT> Challenge, Mr. chairman - repetition of "whey".//   

       Well that's just grate. Not much gets past yer eyes.   

       You all crack me up. Let's see you try Limburger. I mean as a pun. Don't eat that stuff...it smells like dead rats. My momma used to put that stuff on crackers and it stank the whole house up. Bleh.
blissmiss, Nov 03 2018
  

       Oddly enough, Limburger is made by slim burghers - while they eat a lot of fatty cheese, making cheese is good exercise which means they don't put on much weight.
hippo, Nov 03 2018
  

       A fat, juicy burger needs cheddar, or Swiss will do in a pinch. But there's only one kind of cheese for a slimburger.
Voice, Nov 03 2018
  

       If you're going to make a burger, make sure you use decent beef. I don't mean a rump-, flank- or skirt - burger: it should be a cut from one of the limbs.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 04 2018
  

       Nice one, you.
blissmiss, Nov 04 2018
  

       // // the borg is correct //   

       Sp., Gr. "The Borg are correct".//   

       You're sure you want to go with "are" ?
FlyingToaster, Nov 06 2018
  

       First person plural ...   

       Since it can be phrased "We are correct" or "They are correct" (third person plural) then yes, we'll stick with that.   

       "The Borg is correct" (third person singular) is inappropriate, since we represent all Borg, not just one unit.
8th of 7, Nov 06 2018
  

       Howabout "We are not amused"? Just asking.   

       (begins working on Camembert-based magnetic cheese, for sabotage duties)
not_morrison_rm, Nov 06 2018
  

       // for sabotage duties //   

       So, designed to clog things up then ?
8th of 7, Nov 06 2018
  

       Is the idea some kind of maglev propelled fast food ?   

       Acceleration forces would need strong structural members in the product. I recommend some stiff bries.
bigsleep, Nov 07 2018
  

       Won't that give you wind ?
8th of 7, Nov 07 2018
  

       You’d have to wear adequately warm clothing when boarding – you couldn’t come on bare.
Ian Tindale, Nov 07 2018
  

       My fried wanted me to help him stock his new safari park and start by writing down all the requirements for animals. So, for the large African animals section I had to spec a rhino.
hippo, Nov 08 2018
  

       I was pondering magnetism/biology last night..   

       1) How does moss know to grow on the north side of trees, if it doesn't have a magnetic sense?   

       2) What does moss do in the event of a pole switch? Does it migrate to the other side of the tree?   

       Still waiting for the Nobel prize, must have got lost in the post or summat.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 08 2018
  

       Moss grows wherever it's damp enough, I think.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 08 2018
  

       Soggy liberals ?
8th of 7, Nov 08 2018
  

       // How does moss know to grow on the north side of trees, if it doesn't have a magnetic sense?//   

       Moss doesn't like full-sun. It grows most thickly on the North side of trees because it is in constant shadow.   

       Hmm, according to some website "..in the southern hemisphere, moss mostly grows on the south sides of trees."   

       Extraordinary long article on moss growing on trees at the equator - link.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 08 2018
  

       // it is in constant shadow. //   

       <Vader>   

       "If you only knew the power of the Dark Side !"   

       </Vader>
8th of 7, Nov 08 2018
  

       Apparently there are such things as food grade iron filings. Might put a label stating "Gaussing the cheese every [insert period of time] is recommend" etc.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 10 2018
  

       What exactly is ‘food grade’? I mean, could you have food grade poison? Food grade piss? Food grade plutonium?
Ian Tindale, Nov 10 2018
  

       // could you have food grade poison? //   

       Yes. Many common food constituents and additives are toxic if consumed in sufficiently large quantities; ethanol is an excellent example. Even more so for most medications, which are also effectively "food grade", in that they're intended to be ingested.
8th of 7, Nov 10 2018
  

       ^^ ‘food grade’ in this context means the filings have no sharp bits.
not_morrison_rm, Nov 10 2018
  

       Over 30% of the small-molecule components of an organic strawberry are either known or potential carcinogens.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 10 2018
  

       Incidentally, it is apparently possible to buy "cheese effect" nail polish. <link>
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 12 2018
  

       // components of ... strawberry are ... known ... carcinogens //   

       That's nothing. Oxygen is notorious for its propensity to produce highly reactive free-radical species, which are well known to be very damaging to organic systems. And your planet's atmosphere has a 21% concentration of the filthy stuff ...   

       And have you seen what plain water will do to iron and steel in just a few days ?   

       Be afraid ... be very afraid ...
8th of 7, Nov 12 2018
  
      
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