Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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McEnracquet

A bat for a brat
  (+2, -4)
(+2, -4)
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A specialized piece of equipment for the treatment of super-brat tennis players. The McEnraquet is made of reinforced kevlar and titanium laminate to reduce damage to it at the hands of a real asshole. It comes with an onboard microprocessor, gyroscopic stabilizers and weaponry, all concealed neatly within the handle.

It connects to the user/brat via an unbreakable wrist strap. Within the strap are wires which relay info to the computer from sensors which detect blood pressure changes, volume of players voice, the stamping of a foot and ammount of spittle flying from the bottom lip.

When a dummy spit is detected, the raquet goes into training mode, and may deploy an annoying beeping tone, mace, tazer, or my favourite, the flame thrower, depending upon the infraction detected.

Your enjoyment of the game is sure to increase with every otherwise annoying stoppage of play.

the dog's breakfast, Feb 26 2007

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       Like very much the idea of electrocuting tennis players, whatever the aim. An alternative specialized piece of equipment for the treatment of super-brat tennis players would be a simple piece of paper banning respective brat for a season on the grounds that:
a)They are being a twat.
b)They get points for hitting a ball not rhetoric.
c)By their choice of pastime they are perpetuating a sport which spawned the inexplicable media career of the ubiquitous Boris "Bobbele" Becker.
  

       I am puzzled by the last sentance in your idea description. Surely any stoppage of tennis is desirable and not annoying. Complete stoppage being the best possible outcome.
squeak, Feb 26 2007
  

       sp: racquet, hence McEnracquet.
jurist, Feb 26 2007
  

       I could have used one of these when I played for the school team years ago. +
Noexit, Feb 27 2007
  
      
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