h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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MikeD Enterprises is pleased to announce its first foray into medical science: Medicinal Tigers! The perfect complement to medicinal maggots.
Anyone who has ever owned a tiger knows just how finicky these beast's appetites can be; turning their whiskered nose up to anything even slightly rancid.
Medicinal
maggots, however only eat necrotic tissue, shunning the living flesh; making them so suitable for wound debridement.
MikeD Enterprises, and the consumer we are sure, will see these inverse corollary traits to be a match made in heaven.
Posit one of our hypo-allergenic, sterilized medicinal tigers next to the patient, and wait for kitty to eat him/her, signifying that it is time to remove the maggots from the wound.
[link]
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//I swear by Apollo the healer, by Aesculapius, by Health and all the powers of healing, and call to witness all the gods and goddesses that I may keep this Oath and Promise to the best of my ability and judgement.
I will pay the same respect to my master in the Science as to my parents and share my life with him and pay all my debts to him. I will regard his sons as my brothers and teach them the Science, if they desire to learn it, without fee or contract. I will hand on precepts, lectures and all other learning to my sons, to those of my master and to those pupils duly apprenticed and sworn, and to none other.
I will use my power to help the sick to the best of my ability and judgement; I will abstain from harming or wronging any man by it.
I will not give a fatal draught to anyone if I am asked, nor will I suggest any such thing. Neither will I give a woman means to procure an abortion.
I will be chaste and religious in my life and in my practice.
I will not cut, even for the stone, but I will leave such procedures to the practitioners of that craft.
Whenever I go into a house, I will go to help the sick and never with the intention of doing harm or injury. I will not abuse my position to indulge in sexual contacts with the bodies of women or of men, whether they be freemen or slaves.
Whatever I see or hear, professionally or privately, which ought not to be divulged, I will keep secret and tell no one.
If, therefore, I observe this Oath and do not violate it, may I prosper both in my life and in my profession, earning good repute among all men for my time. If I transgress and forswear this oath, may my lot be otherwise.// |
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nowhere does it mention tigers! |
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Presumably, since tigers are feline, the process of pre -consumption sniffing constitutes a CAT scan ... |
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//nowhere does it mention tigers!// |
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Well of course you wont find tigers in the expurgated version. |
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//pre -consumption sniffing constitutes a CAT scan// |
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That is how it will be billed, yes. |
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Thought this would be an idea to harness Charlie Sheen's blood. |
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//nowhere does it mention tigers!// |
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Maybe you've got the expurgated version. I'm pretty sure the second stanza has a pretty long bit about tigers. |
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//you've got the expurgated version. I'm pretty sure the second stanza has a pretty long bit about tigers.// |
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And a bit about the gannet. |
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You will need lots of Tiger Balm, too. |
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a version of the original greek one apparently. |
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//rebranded, the cat scan.// |
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Or the kitty scan. Of course this would cause gynocologists to think of an alternate name for thier examinations... |
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