Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Microwave Auto-High

 For someone's been using low.
 
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I'm sure you all know how annoying it is to find enough time away from the HB to go to the microwave and find your popcorn in a shriveled piece of unpopped crap. I don't know about everyone else, but around here we're all used to using high all the time, so much that we don't even think about that second knob. The microwave auto-high device/feature would be completely optional, and to exactly what you wanted it to do. You could have simply remind you that you are using a setting other than high (or whatever setting you told it is your normal one) and would you like to proceed. You could set it to go to whatever intensity you set for one cycle and then return to the normal cooking level, or you could even set it to ask for a password for anything other than your chosen setting. Any if ANYONE dare calls this a rant, because it's not. The only thing I'm ranting about is people calling some idea a rant just because the author used a different appeal. Sorry.
—fogfreak, Dec 08 2002

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       Yeah, get with the times, microwave of this day and age have short cut buttons, warm a sandwich- press the sandwich botton, want popcorn - theres one for that too!!
—Chaos_5, Dec 08 2002
   

       I don't mean to sound patronizing, but why in the name of God were you attempting to use a microwave made before 1990 anyway?   

       My grandparents still have one of those microwaves, vintage circa 1980, with two dials on it, and they still keep a little glass of water in it; but it's an antique, and they only keep it because they don't microwave much anymore.   

       For that matter, why not buy a hot-air popper? Healthier, you know, and doesn't have a "power" setting.
—ithildin, Dec 08 2002
   

       Well, let me explain it this way. The hot air popper is slow and messy. Really, really messy. I know that we need a new microwave, but tell that to my parents. I mean, I guess I thought digital microwaves had the same problem. But yes, our microwave and refrigerator are literally older than I am.
—fogfreak, Dec 08 2002
   

       (Based on STRANGLEHOLD by Ted Nugent)

Here i come again to microwave
With a bag to heat
- tell it's me by the clamor now maybe
I like to turn up the heat
And I been poppin' for so long
I think i'll hear you say
When I open the microwave maybe
I can't let you do that dave

Knob I choose is a switch now baby
I know I can turn it 'round
And if a cup sits in microwave
Ya know I'm taking it out
You know the bag of popcorn
It sits in my folk's place
I'll put it in the microwave baby
I'm gonna pop some corn

yeah
sometimes you wanna cook higher
And sometimes you gotta cook low
Some people think they gotta hot air pop
I got news, ya never got to, no

C'mon c'mon pop (4 times)

C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon popcorn
C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon pop
C'mon c'mon c'mon c'mon popcorn
C'mon c'mon c'mon

Knob i choose is a switch now
I know I can turn it 'round
And if a cup sits in my way
Ya know im takin' it out
You know the bag of popcorn
It sits in my folk's place
I'll put it in the microwave baby
I'm gonna pop some corn
—thumbwax, Dec 08 2002
   

       fogfreak: I'm sorry to hear that, but my best suggestion for dealing with that aspect of your parents is simply to remind them periodically that they're older than you are.   

       It worked to get me a new bed three or four years ago. They had given me their old one, which was a wedding gift to them (and I was conceived five years after they got married).
—ithildin, Dec 08 2002
   

       It's not often you meet someone who lives on the Mothership
—thumbwax, Dec 08 2002
   

       rods tiger: Yes, I imagine so. I prefer not to think of it. Besides, they might have been on vacation. I don't know. Never have asked.
—ithildin, Dec 09 2002
   

       Beam me up, [thumbwax]...Kudos for the funniest line of the week.
—jurist, Dec 09 2002
   

       My microwave defaults to HIGH unless you change it. I really only use another temperature if I'm defrosting something.
—bspollard, Dec 13 2002
   

       all microwaves should have only two settings. high and defrost. and if derost is activated it should say aloud "caution deforst setting activated." Or something.
—slapcup, Nov 13 2003
   

       actually if it has a 'derost' setting you should take it back. your food may end up losing its 'rosts'.
—slapcup, Nov 13 2003
   

       and I don't know what deforsting is either. possibly beeing stripped of vegetation. I'll just shut up.
—slapcup, Nov 13 2003
   
      
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