Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mid-Life Crisis Savings Plan

Plan today for tomorrow's outlay
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This is a new type of investment plan, to be described under Section 703(j) of the Internal Revenue Code.

Finally, there is a tax-qualified way for middle-to-upper-class men with tedious or very stressful jobs to save up for their inevitable future mid-life crisis.

A 703(j) plan allows an individual to contribute pre-tax funds of up to $3,000 per year. Interest and capital gains earned on these funds are also competely tax-free until you withdraw them.

However, there is a federal penalty of 15%, in addition to ordinary income taxes, if the money is withdrawn for any reason other than to pay for a mid-life crisis expense. In order to avoid the penalty, you must submit proof that you have bought one of the following: (a) Brand new convertible, (b) Motorcycle together with leather jacket and helmet with flames painted on it, (c) Yacht, or (d) Diamond engagement ring for a woman at least 20 years younger than you.

Ask your employer for information about 703(j) plans today.

phundug, May 03 2004

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       Should probably include a provision for bi-weekly therapy sessions.
bristolz, May 03 2004
  

       You forgot to mention tatoos.
ghillie, May 03 2004
  

       How about a woman's mid-life crisis expenses. Lifts for various sagging parts, hair and makeup Make-over, wardrobe, and expense account to impress the young stud.
dentworth, May 03 2004
  

       Wow, wish I had known about this plan before I went and bought my yacht. Sure would have been nice to use pre-tax money. Maybe I can get a note from my doctor to use Flexible Spending Account $$ for the upkeep?
csea, May 03 2004
  
      
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