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Minty Philtrum Plasters

Yes, I do have a cold.
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against]

We all know and hate the discomfort of the bunged-up nose that comes along with colds and flu. During the day it's bad enough, but at night it reveals it's full horror. Unable to breathe freely, you are forced to sleep with your mouth open, making you snore and meaning that you wake up grumpy with a mouth full of glue, a sore throat and an irritated bed-fellow.

Menthol goo is available from various manufacturers which is spread upon the chest or daubed under the nose and is meant to alleviate the torture of a stuffy nose. Unfortunately, most noses are a fair way away from the chest of their owner, added to which, an embrace of any considerable pressure sees you slithering out of the bed like a renegade trout.

Goo daubed beneath the conk transfers itself readily to any surface within a 10 foot radius and leaves unpleasant snail trails on the pillow and you, once again, with a plugged snout. It can also irritate skin that is already sore from constant nose-wiping.

There are also menthol oil drops available to be sprinkled on the pillow which work quite well if you can position your nostrils directly over the sprinkles and keep them there all night. Otherwise it irritates the skin, stings the eyes and becomes ineffective when you roll over.

New Minty Philtrum Plasters are flexible, elastic micropore plasters, hypoallergenically designed to be gentle even to sore, delicate skin. The plasters are especially shaped to be placed beneath the nose and above the top lip across the "philtrum". The top side of the plaster contains a strip of material coated in microcapsules of the patented Minty Philtrum herbal inhalant. Simply scratch to activate the strip and a pleasant mixture of menthol, wintergreen and camphor is released throughout the night, letting you breathe freely and mintily to awaken refreshed and relaxed.

squeak, Mar 09 2004

(?) Breathe Right® Vapor Strips http://www.breather.../prod_info/cold.asp
their' [dpsyplc, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

(?) Morris Dancers for [spacecadet] http://www.cs.nott....rester/Teversal.htm
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Please note the hankies. You can see them in picture 2. best of all. [squeak, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 06 2004]

[link]






       // a renegade trout //   

       Wonderful. +
saker, Mar 09 2004
  

       Excellent. I am a fan of the "anti-snot" drops that go on your pillow, but [jonthegeologist] always complains that they "make his eyes bleed". These are a lovely alternative, although you'd have to make sure the mentholliness couldn't seep through the plaster onto the sensitive skin of the face. This would result in an unfortunate red moustache the next day.
hazel, Mar 09 2004
  

       An oil-proof backing to the material strip that contains the essences should sort that out [hazel].   

       I also quite like those drops but am put off by the problems stated by [jtg]. My mother always advocates putting a few drops on a hanky and sniffing it through the day but this gives one the appearance either of a person permanently waving farewell or a morris dancer. Also the need to have the hanky within reach means that it will probably end up stuffed in your sleeve so you end up looking like a cross between your granny/popeye/farewell-waver/morris dancer. Nice.   

       I was trying to work out a daytime version of these plasters but couldn't think of a way to sufficiently disguise it for use on the face. Maybe I should go in the other direction and flaunt it. Menthol waxed moustachios?
squeak, Mar 09 2004
  

       The morris dancer look is one that I thought was entirely normal as a child since I lived in a small village in Somerset where these things were common. Now I've moved to the big city I realise the error of my ways.   

       Moustaches for ladies is probably not ideal unless they are of a certain age, but how about a tiny tube which would just fit inside your nostril - perhaps expanding slightly on insertion to prevent it falling out too easily?
hazel, Mar 09 2004
  

       Nice idea, except that the mucous membrane is *very* sensitive and may be irritated. Do you only have one nostril?
squeak, Mar 09 2004
  

       I'm not Daniella Westbrook you know!   

       It might be that you would only need this in one side at a time - eg when you've been lying on one side and you can breath through one nostil and not the other. Or you could simultaneously insert in both nostrils if you're really hard and it's a really bad cold.   

       I suspect the irritation would be too great but you never know...
hazel, Mar 09 2004
  

       Just had a fit of the giggles imagining myself trying to muster the hand-to-eye coordination necessary to insert small tubes into both nostrils simultaneously, first thing in the morning.   

       (Will have to think of something sad as suppression of giggles and mucous filled nostrils are not a good combination - splat!)
squeak, Mar 09 2004
  

       You could try Sudafed or some other adrenaline analogue type thing, but they tend to have the unfortunate side effect of keeping you awake.   

       At bedtime, boil kettle, pour water into bowl, add menthol crystals, place towel over head, place head over bowl. Snork.   

       Alternatively, develop a heroin habit. Junkies never catch colds.
saker, Mar 09 2004
  

       Another vote for the renegade.
bungston, Mar 09 2004
  

       //... placed beneath the nose and above the top lip...//   

       What?! I was using them on my teeth!
Letsbuildafort, Mar 09 2004
  

       I just take a really hot shower with tea tree oil shampoo, and a BreatheRight strip. Help me out, what's a morris dancer?
spacecadet, Mar 09 2004
  

       The alternative could be menthol hairspray, I mean hairspray for nose hairs. Those are anyway meant to do some air caonditioning/filtering as you breath.
kbecker, Mar 09 2004
  

       Morris dancers are groups of (almost invariably) male dancers who perform to traditional English folk music. The dances often involve the waving of hankerchiefs or the beating of sticks with bells on them and the group are generally dressed in traditional country garb - smock-like shirts and the like - with bells on their legs. One of the men is usually dressed like a woman and another like a fool, sometimes with a donkey's head. The specific traditions, clothing and dances vary very much on location. In the north of england there is more of a tradition of clog dancing, sometimes even by women.   

       It's hard to explain the cultural significance!
hazel, Mar 10 2004
  

       ...basically, a group of men, pratting about with a transvestite, dressed head to foot in white and adorned with bells, hankerchiefs and sticks.   

       If it wasn't for the fact that this is seen as traditional, these people would surely be locked up.
jonthegeologist, Mar 10 2004
  

       I've got some northern english clogs, though I can't dance in them. Please don't think that they look like dutch ones. They look like a normal(ish) lace-up shoe but have a row of brass nails all the way around, a wooden sole (traditionally shod with 2 iron horse shoe thingies, nowadays rock-hard rubber is used) and a metal "tin" across the toe. They look mean. I love 'em and they're very comfortable indeed, and very noisy.
squeak, Mar 10 2004
  

       What about dangling a menthol "carrot" over your place of sleepiness? Whether the mentholated "carrot" is in a fixed, hanging position over the bed or a self-levelling contraption affixed to your head is your business.
thumbwax, Mar 10 2004
  

       'Cos I need it under by dose.
squeak, Mar 10 2004
  

       Thanks, [hazel], [jon].
spacecadet, Mar 10 2004
  

       And thanks, [squeak]
-spacecadet, Mar 10 2004
  

       See linky, spacey.
squeak, Mar 11 2004
  
      
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