Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Mix 'n' Match Greeting Cards

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(+3)
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As a male atheist, I have to tell you, it is getting harder and harder for me to find a birthday or wedding card that doesn't make me want to throw up all over the display case from sheer overdose of corniness. Soon, I'll have to stop going to weddings altogether, because I simply won't be able to find a wedding card that I can bear the thought of giving to someone. Unfortunately, most of the cards that aren't sappy are all Goddy and worshippy, so not appropriate for me to give.

The worst is when, after wading for hours through the suffocating miasma of roses and perfume, I actually find a card whose cover is pretty but simple; shows feeling but is tastfully decorated, and is embossed with the exact words that I would like to convey: "Congratulations on your Wedding!" But when, as I eagerly open the card to verify its acceptability, I am presented with a 12-line poem of such syrupiness; of such utter obsequiousness and sugariness, of such gushing effusiveness, written in lettering so curlicued, that I rush to close it with an immediacy that calls to mind the need to drop a potato that is too hot.

I could suggest that a line of non-overly effusive cards be created for men to buy, but instead, I propose a line of mix-and match greeting cards for all occasions. Find a cover you like, and choose an interior that goes with it (creative types will be rewarded here). Then simply bring both pieces up to the counter and a the cashier will insert them into a finishing machine, which will bind the two sheets elegantly together.

phundug, Nov 21 2003

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       I love what this would do for all those cards that have the first half of a joke on the cover and the punchline inside... croissant
luecke, Nov 21 2003
  

       Good idea, [phundug], but a glue-stick and a printed out verse would also do it. "Congratulations on your Wedding" on the outside, "If it doesn't last past Christmas, I want my $100 back", or something, you can cover up the interior verse with.
lintkeeper2, Nov 21 2003
  

       I remember some Hallmark "Make-a-card" computerized stations that would pring out a custom card ... but it sensor out swear words, and there were'nt any pictures with enough blood or 'splosions in them ... nice idea, [phundug] - [+] but what does your athiesm have to do with sappy cards?
Letsbuildafort, Nov 21 2003
  

       The cards that aren't sappy are all Goddy and worshippy, so not appropriate for me to give.
phundug, Nov 21 2003
  

       I understand ... now I see what you're getting at ... I often run in to the same problem - if I could bun this more than once, I would
Letsbuildafort, Nov 21 2003
  

       This has got to be the best category to post in. Look at all those croissants up there; you can't go wrong!
phundug, Nov 21 2003
  

       is that a dare, phundug?
luecke, Nov 21 2003
  

       [Phundug], are you shopping at WalMart? You need a reliable art store where you can find breathtaking cards without the mushball twelve verse poem on friendship. I don't think your product is necessary. Not to mention you've just doubled search time in the card aisle.
k_sra, Nov 21 2003
  

       a friend of mine (in her 70's now I imagine) sent me a card, the front was a wonderful print of one of her watercolour paintings - bless her, she forgot to sign it. I recognised the style and it gave me an excuse to telephone her...
po, Nov 21 2003
  

       phundug: use email.
DrCurry, Nov 21 2003
  

       [k_sra] Which is faster: Repeatedly rolling two dice until you roll a pair of sixes, or rolling two dice until one of them shows a six, then rolling just the other one until that shows a six?
phundug, Nov 21 2003
  

       I don't have any dice handy. Tell me.
k_sra, Nov 21 2003
  

       I just mean it is more reasonable (and possible) to find two small pieces of appropriateness than one miraculous confluence of components all in one card. It would halve the search time, not double it.
phundug, Nov 21 2003
  

       I'd rather cards didn't have anything inside at all. Easier to just write something inside: "Sorry about that thing with your sister at the reception. I was soooo drunk! Best wishes, Sycorob"
sycorob24, Nov 21 2003
  

       I would like to believe that, [phundug], except that half of your options are taken from you in a whole-card store, so it's not exactly similar to two distinct die, is it? I guess it all depends on the size of the store...
k_sra, Nov 21 2003
  

       I believe the whole point in sending a card is that in this world of hustle and bustle, you took the time to pick out just the right card with just the right greeting for the moment.   

       Any kind of multiple choice option like this idea sends a clear message that you don't have much time for the recipient.
DrCurry, Nov 21 2003
  

       I believe the whole point in sending a card is that in this world of hustle and bustle, you don't have time to actually write a letter and communicate anything meaningful, so you let the greeting card industry fabricate something for you to ease your guilt.   

       I don't welcome greeting cards unless they're hand-drawn in crayon. Bonus points if there's macaroni glued to it.
darksasami, Nov 21 2003
  

       With enough choice you could create some pretty surreal cards this way, +.
RobertKidney, Nov 22 2003
  
      
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