Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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Money Laundering machine
Get more from your drug money
 
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Drug Barons!

It is widely known that a high proportion of notes are contaminated with cocaine. Moreover, since your customers are drug users, the notes you receive are almost guarenteed to be drug-impregnated.

Use this machine to extract this hitherto untapped resource, and you need not worry about your mules getting stopped at customs again.

Also cleans, flattens and smooths currency so your wad of used fivers looks less incriminating when banked. (Thanks PeterSilly)


Loris, Dec 18 2002

Drug money http://www.snopes.c...s/money/cocaine.htm
A significantly large percentage of U.S. currency bears traces of cocaine. [Loris, Oct 17 2004]

public Yen cleanser http://www.maddogpr.../ds_dirty_money.htm
[n-pearson, Oct 17 2004]

[link]






       Rods - wouldn't this depend on how long the notes have been in circulation and, to a certain extent, where?   

       Loris - could we have a money ironing machine as well - I like my notes all crispy with no creases.

PeterSilly, Dec 18 2002
  

       No wonder some people lick thumb (now there's a thought to make or break your day) between bill counts. Puts the Numb in Numbers.

thumbwax, Dec 18 2002
  

       The machine could also isolate and purify the substances accumulated from the bill wash water, so that you could derive more monetary or recreational benefits for the more bills you wash.

bevnap, Aug 22 2003
  

       Coming from Las Vegas where there is no such thing as money lauhdering, I have to vote for your idea, just for the name. I love it. I used to wash and iron my money, although I would never admit it on anything public, like this website.

NotSoQuick, Sep 01 2003
  

       Rumored to be quarter-baked -- see link.

n-pearson, Sep 01 2003
  
      
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