h a l f b a k e r y
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Wouldn't it be great if we knew how other people were feeling at a glance? Oh, sure, we can guess, and get it right with some folks... sometimes... But some people are just not gifted with the power of reading faces.
Thus, I propose the mood reading gun, which will be based on advanced laser and
IR sensor technology, along with retro sixties sensibilities.
Let us begin by examining an older mood indicating device: The mood ring contained materials which changed colors based on temperature. When stressed, a person's blood flow near the skin is restricted, so they appear cooler on the surface.
Thus, according to the retro mood-ring pseudo-science, we need only take someone's temperature, and calibrate that data appropriately to determine a person's mood.
The mood Reading Gun contains a laser-sighted IR heat sensing device in a chrome barrel, stylish pearl handled pistol grips, and a retro color changing cameo display where the cocking mechanisms would be on a real gun, with a small text screen for exact clarification located slightly beneath the rounded glass screen.
To use the device, you just point the pistol at a specified area of a person's body, and hold down the trigger for a moment. A lazer pointer will allow you to adjust your aim for accuracy, and the thermometer will determine the person's temperature. The cameo display will then change colors, and the text window will provide a written meaning of the color displayed, along with some witty remarks which may add further insight.
Mood rings explained
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mood_ring
For those of you born after 1988 [ye_river_xiv, Jul 29 2007]
Infrared thermal imaging explained
http://www.infrared...spx?ProductID=10228
It's down on the bottom of the page. [ye_river_xiv, Jul 29 2007]
Wikipedia: LASER
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laser
How this word is commonly spelled. [jutta, Jul 29 2007]
Thermometer Gun
http://www.control3.com/4470p.htm
Btw. [DrCurry, Aug 02 2007]
Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee
Destination URL.
E.g., http://www.coffee.com/
Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)
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WIB(N/G)I, as confessed in the first line. However this is not technically an [mfd] Magic, as it is possible using fMRI. But unless you have a few million dollars to spare and a truck to carry your gun around on, this product will not be of much interest to you. |
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This is basically a thermal imaging camera,
no? You can buy these. |
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With the minor exception of people with certain rare medical conditions, if you can't tell what mood your friends are in just by looking at them, then they're not really friends, are they? |
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I think DrCurry exclusively hangs out with
the Wiggles. |
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//unless you have a few million dollars to spare and a truck to carry your gun around on// |
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Didn't manage to hold up for the mood ring explanation I see? All it takes is a thermal imager, which can apparently cost abut $100 and fit on a key chain. (See Link #1) |
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Admitedly, the fMRI would be a little more reliable... Well, not really, because for a good fMRI mood sensor you need a helmet to slap on your buddy... |
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//rare medical conditions// |
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<personal hobby horse>
Not so very rare, and it's disputable whether they're properly medical.
</phh> |
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//<personal hobby horse> Not so very rare, and it's disputable whether they're properly medical. </phh>// |
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Indeed. hence the need for other ways to determine mood. Idea has been edited to more closely match reality... a little... |
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Feel free to examine the feasability of using regular laser thermometers with a temperature chart until my fancy models come out... Just have a care how you do so. Some people object to being measured out of principle. |
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I read this as 'Mood Reading Gym', which would be a much better idea. |
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This is what I use empathy for. Not everyone comes standard equipped with empathy, so perhaps you have a market here. Or you could just bring me along to your get togethers. Or you could just ask your friend how they're doing. |
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I read the title as "Mood Reading Gum" which is right up there with the gym idea [moomintroll] is on about... (hi, [moomintroll]) |
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I thought it was Moon Reaming Gin, but then again I was sitting very far away from the screen. |
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points gun - reads mood (fear) |
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If they are in a good mood, they give a "Happy" reading. If they are in a bad mood, they stick the gun up your @$$. |
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The idea is really a hand-held infra-red thermometer, which is widely baked, laser pointer and all. (The park rangers used one to check my car's brake temperature on the way down from Pike's Peak the other day.) |
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Why were they interested? |
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//If they are in a bad mood, they stick the
gun up your @$$// That's funny - we
spell it @®$€ |
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Ah yes, a good old Moon Reaming Gin and tonic. |
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//but then again I was sitting very far away
from the screen.// Oddly, I have a
wireless keyboard that boasts a range of
30 feet. I've always wondered why. |
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// The idea is really a hand-held infra-red thermometer, which is widely baked, laser pointer and all. (The park rangers used one to check my car's brake temperature on the way down from Pike's Peak the other day.) // |
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While it is true that this device would use almost the exact same technology, the mood reading gun is for a different purpose, and has an interface designed for that purpose. Most infra-red thermometers have a range from about absolute zero to 8000 Kelvin or so... We won't be needing such a wide range, although greater precision might be useful, and the really advanced models would probably have ways to estimate mood-temperature variables, such as external weather, the part of the body being measured, and of course, the quantity of clothing being worn. |
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Including all of those things would require near-magic sensor and computing capabilities, so we'll stick with cheap models. |
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The Mood reading Gun also differs from IR thermometers in that it looks more like a toy than a tool. Getting "shot" with an IR thermometer will likely favor people being in a bad mood, and a trip to the proctologist. Getting "shot" with a chromed toy gun will likely be less upsetting. Special stealth models will include fold out flags that say "bang" to further allay any suspicions. |
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Thanks for the offer K-sra. Perhaps you'll be willing to come out to La Mirada some time and serve as my moog reaming gum. |
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Hiya! You found your way back in then ;) Good! |
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[ye_river_stix], happy to help. |
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I'm having trouble, though, imagining just when such a device will be convenient and helpful to use. Unless they are a personal acquaintance, there is very little call for reading other people's moods, (unless of course they are blocking your entrance to a bank wearing a ski mask or some such). Friends you can ask, "How are you." Significant others would probably be offended (10 to 1 a woman would, if her man shot her in the back while she huffed off to the shower instead of him asking how she was). Also, as anyone with the gift of empathy can tell you, knowing a persons mood doesn't inform you of WHY they are in that mood. So, you can't dive neatly into the "appropriate response" just because the gun reads "cranky." |
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Well, the idea is that the gun will provide little warning to the person being read. All it does is put a little lazer pointer light on them, and measure their temperature, so if you shoot them in the back they won't notice anything has happened... I think. |
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Unless you get a fancy one that doubles as a cap gun,flare gun, squirt gun, or high-caliber magnum round gun... in which case, the mood will likely degenerate rapidly once you shoot them... more so than others with some double-up versions. |
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This device would be useful for those people without empathy, or without K_sra... or for those of us who have reasons to interact with strangers from time to time. |
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A guy in a bar trying to pick up girls, for example, might want to avoid using lame come-on jokes with someone in an "awful" mood, and saying "I can't help but notice you're looking rather down, want to tell me about what the problem is?" would not work on people in the "ecstatic" mood range... |
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A guy without empathy whose girlfriend was in a huff, and turned her back on him might be able to use it as a gauge as to what tactics were working... although I suspect a feedback delay could cause serious limitations. |
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For more sinister purposes, car salesmen and other oily shysters might operate as a team, putting my device to unscrupulous ends. |
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But, for the most part, it would only be useful as part of a mood reading game. |
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I'm dyslexic and would like a "doom reading gun" instead. so i can shoot things and know exactly if something is destined to be doomed. This would save me a lot of wasted time and anguish. |
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Well... I could sell you a nice odom reading gun... |
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