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I CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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The mouse I've been given at work where I temp has a cord that is a] far too strong and stiff, and b] still mostly bent into the wrapped shape it came as when we took it out of the vastly overpackaged box of cardboard architecture, vacuum-formed plastic and instructions in every known language. This
was, however, sometime last year, if I remember rightly.
I propose that it be sentenced, every evening, to the straightener. A rack, that applies just the right amount of tension and pain to encourage it to have straightness in the morning (although I always find myself to have straightness in the morning, this is unrelated).
Leather Mouse
http://www.dow.com/...n/stories/mouse.htm
In keeping with the dungeon theme. [zen_tom, Sep 05 2006]
[link]
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This rack is where your mouse is to be found every morning? Would that be the case? |
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Indeed. In that wooden beaver case. |
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a] Fuck off, why should I spend money on
a
place I'm temping at? |
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b] This is a new mouse, you cretin. |
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//why should I spend money on a place I'm temping at? //
Hmm, an interesting question. If you hired a plummer and he turned up expecting you to supply his tools you'd be pretty miffed I reckon. So why shouldn't we office workers bring our own mouse, keyboard and even PC to work with us? As professionals we should really be using the best tools available/affordable to us rather than settling for the cut price old rubbish used in most offices. It might even be deductible.
Not sure I could be bothered to use a mouse rack though. I'd just nick somebody else's mouse I think. |
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The major problem isn't the cord's kinkiness, it's its stiffness. |
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Perhaps some sort of lotion, rubbed into the mouse's stiffened cord might cause it to become less resistive. Mouse Oil? |
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Furthermore, [DrBob], providing your
own tools is one criteria that (in this
country) exempts you from IR35 and
classifies you as self-employed and
allows you to handle your own tax
affairs to your own advantage.
Although I would't try fighting the
Inland Revenue in court on the basis
that you bought a mouse rack. |
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I was to hire a Plummer, it would be Christopher. I'd take Amanda if Chris was unavailable, but it'd still be hard to swallow. |
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I've scanned the SPCA website and I couldn't find any specific regulations regarding medieval torture devices and small rodents, no matter how kinky they might be. But I wonder, would castor oil be a suitable lubricant for a stiff mouse cord? |
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Rack of mouse? With a nice cheddar sauce? |
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[DrBob], Is that a mouse in your pocket or are you just happy to be here? (Sorry, it had to be typed) |
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Pfwahhrr!! Did ya see the rack on that mouse? |
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You could always just chuck your mouse in a drawer somewhere and ignore it. Pretty much everything can be done with a keyboard (unless you're doing a lot of art or CAD).
(Unless you didn't notice, I don't like computer mice much. I use a digitiser tablet myself) |
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Anything is better than those fucking touchpads they insist on sticking into laptops. |
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neutrinos_shadow, - well, no, pretty
much fuck all can be done with a
keyboard. I've yet to be able to produce
an illustration in Illustrator just using
the keyboard. |
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At home I use a Wacom, but I'm
buggered if I'm bringing that in to work
- I used to take a Wacom in to work a
decade or so ago when I was temping
previously, but it's too much of a task
convincing the idiots that it's not going
to make their system explode. |
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