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For those of you who like your personal space to have only one person in it, there are currently multiple occasions in any day where some invasion of your space will be inevitable.
This is where the Muttering Hat comes into its own. When you are about to enter a lift, say, you turn it on. It mutters
oaths and imprecations; sings to itself; tells everyone to shut up and mind their own business; etc.
Presto! Your personal space is yours again. Settings allow automatic activation if people are detected inside your "safe" radius.
[link]
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I suppose it would bring a whole new dimmension to 'crazy-people' phrases: |
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"My hat tells me to kill people..." |
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UB, I'm bunning this because it is, simply put, brilliant. A word of caution, however: Beware lawsuits. Froglet has a very good point. |
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Hats don't kill people. People do. |
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//Hats don't kill people. People do.// |
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If I could bun an anno, I would for the 007 reference. |
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UB, could it have a proximity sensor so it automatically starts spewing unpleasantries when someone comes within, say, 6 feet? |
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And could it have a translator for Korean hitmen? |
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Highly effective if you could get into an argument with your hat in the lift. |
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Wasn't there a talking hat in that Harry Pooter movie that came out a few years ago? |
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Why not spew your own //oaths and imprecations//. Does that hat fight for you when it has said to much? Or do you have to rely on the previous (inverted) Slap Hat to come to your aid? |
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I've actually done the "Stand in the corner of the lift, facing the wall and telling the voices in your head to "Shut the fuck up, all of you" while punching yourself in the head" thing. |
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It's incredibly effective if you want to clear the lift. It's also a very liberating experience, as people suddenly have very different expectations of you. |
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So the hat has Tourette's syndrome? |
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//Wasn't there a talking hat in that Harry Pooter movie that came out a few years ago// |
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I too visualised the hat as being similar to the "Sorting Hat" from Harry Potter. |
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Not quite like that. I was thinking more like Inspector Cloiseau's hat, only talking. |
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<metafilter>So this hat; it mutters?</metafilter> |
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So long as it's not a Mothering Hat. All that "Did you wash your hands?" and "How much fruit have you eaten today?" would get a little tiresome. |
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//So long as it's not a Mothering Hat.// |
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...with a mechanical thumb, lubricated with spit coming out of the brim to wipe off that smudge on my forehead... |
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Don't you just cringe when you see parents doing that to their kids. |
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Of course, there will be those who mistake this for a Nutter(ing) Hat, which brands you publicly as a fruitcake to be avoided. |
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I used to have a Stuttering Hat. It took ages to get to the point, and covered everyone in spittle. |
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