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Nervous, but not a Wreck

Learn to be gentle with your car.
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Driving with car sympathy can reduce the cost of your next service. It’s usually more comfortable for passengers and needn’t mean driving at a snail’s pace.

It’s an easy idea to grasp (few people intentionally trash their cars), but fairly difficult to master. It’s pretty obvious that if you drive like a tw*t that you’ll wear components out fairly quickly, but not every stress that you put the car under provides sufficient physical/aural feedback to the driver to help prevent unnecessary wear.

So rig a car with sensors that measure stress on key joints, the amount of jolting and sway that the car is subjected to, the amount of traction available and so on. In short, give it a nervous system.

Now link the nervous system to the cars audio system and make it “groan”, “ouch” and “arrgh” whenever you’re hurting it. Make the level of response appropriate to the level of ‘pain’ the car is being subjected to. Also tie the response to the part of the car that’s suffering:

“Jeez, will you learn to corner? My drive shaft is aching something rotten.”

Use the system to help you learn to minimise unnecessary stress on the car. Eventually, the money saved from cheaper servicing might just help you break even on the cost of this system.

Or, if despite your best efforts you still get stung at the next service, use it to get your own back on the car.

“Kitt, how ya feeling today buddy?”

“Michael, I really wish you’d be more gentle with my big end.”

boysparks, Mar 17 2006


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Annotation:







       OK, but only if it can be disabled, so I don't have to listen to it during those (infrequent) times when it would let out one long blood-curdling scream until I skid to a stop.
Shz, Mar 17 2006
  

       //but only if it can be disabled//   

       Agree - definitely optional - I nearly put this in the car:learning category.
boysparks, Mar 17 2006
  

       What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?   

       A nervous wreck.
normzone, Mar 17 2006
  

       My jeep would never stop griping.
zigness, Mar 17 2006
  

       I'd think that jeeps and other vehicles intended for off-road use should start complaining if the owner -doesn't- take it off-road and bounce it around once in a while.   

       < marvin voice (from HHGTTG).
Anotha booring commute, I see. See those otha four-by-fours with all the mud on their sides? THEY get to have fun once in a while. But No...not me. -I- get stuck making the daily commute every day. What's the use in having high ground clearance and all-terrain tires if I never get to see any mud? Next time, just buy a sedan, you'll save on gas.
<end marvin voice>
Freefall, Mar 17 2006
  

       I wonder if my truck and I have the same lower back pain?   

       Life, don't talk to me about life.
zeno, Mar 18 2006
  


 

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