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Nose Picker
Just like a back scratcher except it's for your nose. | |
I bite my nails. And I build up a lot of buggers. Two things that
don't go well together. Often, when I go to pick my nose, I
find that my finger pushes the contents further inside rather
than excavating. The solution would be to develop a thin,
plastic 'shield' that slips on your pinky nail
and effectively
scoops out any and all hard-to-reach nasal plaque.
[link]
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You don't work in a fast food joint, do you?... |
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How about blowing your nose? |
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How about not picking your nose? |
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Alternately, try false nails... what the heck, go the whole hog ! Buy red thigh length patent leather boots, a lurex jumpsuit, blonde wig and tu-tu and stand on a street corner picking your nose. You'd probably make a decent living and meet lots of interesting people. |
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Sans zippyanna's version of the nasal backhoe, try Qtips (or, Utips if you'd prefer to make a teenybopper fashion statement). |
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I'm thinking of a clip on excavator...sort of a tonka toy back hoe thing that clips onto the nostril. |
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Not sophisticated enough compared to my electric nose picker. This digital digit will twist and turn around your nostrils and rapidly remove all unwanted snot. Then simply rinse under a tap, and wave your snot goodbye. |
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For a small extra charge an attachment for removing belly button lint is available. |
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What about some variation on those drops you get for softening ear wax? Just 2-3 drops up each nostril, wait 30 seconds, and sploosh! |
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Unfortunately it is extinct now, but God actually had the solution when She created the Blow Nose Fly (in the same genes as the Blow Fly), also known in Alabama, where I'm from, as the Booger Fly. |
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According to cave paintings found in Peoria, and etchings on a grail found in Mobile, the adult Blow Nose Fly laid eggs in the nostrils of all warm blooded bipeds (cold blooded bipeds were out of luck, but that's how the divine hand works). The larvae of the Blow Nose Fly kept the nasal passages open and clean, just like it's cousin the Blow Fly whose maggots keep gangrene from becoming a social nuisance and distraction in church. |
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But there is hope, since Blow Nose Fly larvae have been found preserved in amber, so maybe through advances in DNA research, we will be able to reestablish the Blow Nose Fly maggot in time for those pesky summer colds, wood shop projects, or allergic reactions to eggs when a chicken rancher from Arizona appears in your horoscope. |
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Uh, thanks for making me re-evaluate what is and is not pleasant to think about, otrcomm. I think you'll fit right in here... |
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since you're so devoted to nose picking: why not take the time to grow your pinky finger nail excessively long and then file it to form? saves you some money and some embarrassment when going to buy the nose pick device at the store. |
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