Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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Office Pastry Launcher

 Heads UP !
  (+30, -1)(+30, -1)(+30, -1)
(+30, -1) 		  [vote for,
against]

Mount a donut machine/pastry baker, with mortar tube incorporated, in the middle of the office, making sure it is networked so all staff can direct it towards their own desk.

A jet of compressed air launches a fresh, cinnamon and sugar laden donut, or soft, fragrant croissant, onto your desk, upon demand. Each pastry is individually wrapped, for cleanliness.

Also useful for management, when they want to hand out cheap rewards to staff.

—UnaBubba, Mar 02 2005

Replace blindfolded counter staff with networking Delipult
[angel, Mar 03 2005]

Reminds me of this most excellent idea. Keyboard_20Mint_20Launcher
[half, Mar 04 2005]

[link]






       This is a good idea but the potential for abuse is almost too much. I mean think about someone in your office who's really annoying, and then think of how satisfying it would be to anonymously launch a bear claw upside their head.
—thatguy, Mar 03 2005
   

       "Office Trebuchet"?
—hippo, Mar 03 2005
   

       I think triangular samosas would be aerodynamically suited for this, as they slice through the air and land plump upon my desk.   

       Swisshhhh...!
—skinflaps, Mar 03 2005
   

       ...or frisbee pizzas.
—hippo, Mar 03 2005
   

       half doughnuts would act like boomerangs and would return to the sender? how apt! mmmmmmmm
—po, Mar 03 2005
   

       How would you launch the pastries? I imagine a window that opens on your computer with a floorplan of the office and you click on your cubicle and just like the video game Scorched Earth, adjust velocity, angle, and windage. Then let fly and enjoy the Bavarian Creme.
—thatguy, Mar 03 2005
   

       That was sorta the plan, [thatguy]. No point calculating range and windage, just have it preset like the co-ordinate set for a cruise missile.
—UnaBubba, Mar 03 2005
   

       And we could use it to launch a Tab soda everytime someone presses the "Tab" key.
Thanks, Simpsons, for ruining my life.
—AfroAssault, Mar 04 2005
   

       So, pressing F-U-2 would send a teargas canister?
—UnaBubba, Mar 04 2005
   

       Yes, but not if the recipient presses "Shift" in time, then it goes to the next desk.
—AfroAssault, Mar 04 2005
   

       I'll be pressing the 'Escape' key...
—hippo, Mar 04 2005
   

       I'll be pressing "Home", then possibly "Insert".
—angel, Mar 04 2005
   

       By consistently bashing the pause/break button, I'd probably get the boot.
—skinflaps, Mar 04 2005
   

       I've just pressed the "#" key. Anyone want to come out on the fire escape?
—wagster, Mar 04 2005
   

       If it's a windy day, I'll be pressing the 'Caps Lock' key.
—hippo, Mar 04 2005
   

       It's a bit stuffy in here. Would someone please press the "Windows" key.
—angel, Mar 04 2005
   

       Does pressing the F1 button turn my screen into a race track?
—skinflaps, Mar 04 2005
   

       Any keyboard with F16 or F22 ?
—kamathln, Mar 04 2005
   

       [wags], don't forget your |
I'm just going for a /
—angel, Mar 04 2005
   

       [Presses ':']
—Detly, Mar 04 2005
   

       [detly] Euuughh!
—AbsintheWithoutLeave, Mar 04 2005
   

       Reminds me of the guns in Bugsy Malone.   

       I'd like to see the mobile version travelling along at street level delivering the day's pastry delivery through open upper floor office windows.
—half, Mar 04 2005
   

       Office windows generally don't open. This would lead from heaven to some torturous world where you're stuck on the hungry side of a donut-covered window.
—Worldgineer, Mar 04 2005
   

       While vast flocks of pigeons devour the sweet treats stuck to the window.
—UnaBubba, Mar 04 2005
   

       (a tear rolls down [Worldgineer]'s cheek)
—Worldgineer, Mar 04 2005
   

       Mine does.   

       Okay, specially designed chutes then.
—half, Mar 04 2005
   

       Those poor poor donut barraged window cleaners.
—MrDaliLlama, Mar 05 2005
   

       Homing donuts, with advanced avionics and capable of Mach 1.2.
—UnaBubba, Mar 06 2005
   

       Even having read this before, I glanced at the title and saw Office Poultry Launcher.   

       I should never halfbake before breakfast.
—half, Mar 06 2005
   

       You want Chicken Burgers? Have it, your way.
—UnaBubba, Mar 06 2005
   

       The bagel option might hurt a bit...
—blissmiss, Mar 06 2005
   

       I think we've all been waiting for this for so long now. Have a bun flying towards your desk...
—Germanicus, Mar 06 2005
   

       <feeling bloated>, must stick to diet, <hits apple key>.
—rainbow, Dec 24 2005
   

       Launches large Xmas pudding, to each and every halfbaker. Much custard also involved.
—UnaBubba, Dec 24 2005
   

       I fear the monkeys at the typewriters in the next cubicle will be using this to fling poo at their adversaries.
—sophocles, Jan 10 2006
   

       Only the monkeys?
—UnaBubba, Jan 10 2006
   

       And the malicious people who launch 20 donuts to their desk that no one else wants to eat...
—devnull, May 14 2009
   

       this is a great idea   

       i would bet it might feel kind of nice to get hit in the face with a soft pastry especially on a Monday, might take the edge off.
—vfrackis, May 14 2009
   
      
[annotate]
   


 

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