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Renovating the wheel
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Mount a donut machine/pastry baker, with mortar tube incorporated, in the middle of the office, making sure it is networked so all staff can direct it towards their own desk.
A jet of compressed air launches a fresh, cinnamon and sugar laden donut, or soft, fragrant croissant, onto your desk, upon
demand. Each pastry is individually wrapped, for cleanliness.
Also useful for management, when they want to hand out cheap rewards to staff.
Replace blindfolded counter staff with networking
Delipult
[angel, Mar 03 2005]
Reminds me of this most excellent idea.
Keyboard_20Mint_20Launcher
[half, Mar 04 2005]
Annotation:
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This is a good idea but the potential for abuse is almost too much. I mean think about someone in your office who's really annoying, and then think of how satisfying it would be to anonymously launch a bear claw upside their head. |
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I think triangular samosas would be aerodynamically suited for this, as they slice through the air and land plump upon my desk. |
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half doughnuts would act like boomerangs and would return to the sender? how apt! mmmmmmmm |
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How would you launch the pastries? I imagine a window that opens on your computer with a floorplan of the office and you click on your cubicle and just like the video game Scorched Earth, adjust velocity, angle, and windage. Then let fly and enjoy the Bavarian Creme. |
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That was sorta the plan, [thatguy]. No point calculating range and windage, just have it preset like the co-ordinate set for a cruise missile. |
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And we could use it to launch a Tab soda everytime someone presses the "Tab" key.
Thanks, Simpsons, for ruining my life. |
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So, pressing F-U-2 would send a teargas canister? |
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Yes, but not if the recipient presses "Shift" in time, then it goes to the next desk. |
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I'll be pressing the 'Escape' key... |
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I'll be pressing "Home", then possibly "Insert". |
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By consistently bashing the pause/break button, I'd probably get the boot. |
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I've just pressed the "#" key. Anyone want to come out on the fire escape? |
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If it's a windy day, I'll be pressing the 'Caps Lock' key. |
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It's a bit stuffy in here. Would someone please press the "Windows" key. |
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Does pressing the F1 button turn my screen into a race track? |
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Any keyboard with F16 or F22 ? |
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[wags], don't forget your |
I'm just going for a / |
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Reminds me of the guns in Bugsy Malone. |
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I'd like to see the mobile version travelling along at street level delivering the day's pastry delivery through open upper floor office windows. |
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Office windows generally don't open. This would lead from heaven to some torturous world where you're stuck on the hungry side of a donut-covered window. |
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While vast flocks of pigeons devour the sweet treats stuck to the window. |
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(a tear rolls down [Worldgineer]'s cheek) |
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Okay, specially designed chutes then. |
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Those poor poor donut barraged window cleaners. |
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Homing donuts, with advanced avionics and capable of Mach 1.2. |
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Even having read this before, I glanced at the title and saw Office Poultry Launcher. |
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I should never halfbake before breakfast. |
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You want Chicken Burgers? Have it, your way. |
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The bagel option might hurt a bit... |
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I think we've all been waiting for this for so long now. Have a bun flying towards your desk... |
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<feeling bloated>, must stick to diet, <hits apple key>. |
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Launches large Xmas pudding, to each and every halfbaker. Much custard also involved. |
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I fear the monkeys at the typewriters in the next cubicle will be using this to fling poo at their adversaries. |
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