Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Onion chain

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It occurs to me that not only could calculations be hashed and checksummed and linked to a previous ledger entry of calculations, but so could layers of onion skin.

I propose a new currency based around onions. The genetic makeup of all the small bits of an onion are likely to be unique and therefore could be calculated using a GPU.

If onions aren't available, for example, during wartime, flower bulbs might suffice.

Ian Tindale, Nov 30 2017

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       Thinly disguised rant [-]
Voice, Nov 30 2017
  

       //The genetic makeup of all the small bits of an onion are likely to be unique //   

       Sadly not. The genome of the innermost layer of an onion will be the same as the genome of the outermost layers. There might be a few somatic mutations, but probably at a rate below the error rate of sequencing. Also, onions have inconveniently large genomes (about 5x human), which makes you wonder if they're plotting something.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 30 2017
  

       I've been wondering when The Onion gets around to doing an ICO. A Ha token.
theircompetitor, Nov 30 2017
  

       Vegetable backed currencies have never done so well - as well you may know.   

       What I want to know is whether bitcoin will cause planet heat death before it matures and goes into maintenance phase. Or whether the maintenance phase will be the end of the earth.   

       China seem to be extracting the most from bitcoin as other suckers boost its value before the crash.
bigsleep, Nov 30 2017
  

       // Vegetable backed currencies have never done so well //   

       Ahhh, "Tulip Mania", the high value placed on truffles, the Swedish Kroner, the Irish Potato economy of the 19th century, and the Euro - an institution managed by a bunch of turnips.   

       // Thinly disguised rant //   

       Disguised how ? By covering it in a series of thin, translucent, concentric layers ?
8th of 7, Nov 30 2017
  

       //the Euro - an institution managed by a bunch of turnips//   

       Time will tell whether the cost of 'it had to happen sometime' is worth paying in this generation of Trump and BrExit. I have a feeling its not worth the price because people generally don't know what its about and seem a bit confused whether it involves being very right wing or not. Too much info for this generation methinks.   

       The real culprits that need taking down are the corporates, but I don't see the average person navigating the conundrum that the companies they buy their iGadgets from are the real enemies.   

       If that happens in my lifetime, it would be a real turnip for the books.
bigsleep, Nov 30 2017
  

       // a bit confused whether it involves being very right wing or not.//   

       If in doubt, polish your jackboots and look round for an unpopular minority to victimize.   

       // Too much info for this generation methinks.//   

       You mean all those over-taxed, over-regulated citizens who have - unsurprisingly - completely lost any trust in or respect for an unrepresentative, indifferent elite which ignores them, and turns out in close examination to be nothing more than a beer-and-skittles scheme and mutual-protection society for fraudsters, adulterers, sexual predators, oligarchs and kiddie-fiddlers ?   

       // The real culprits that need taking down are the corporates, //   

       Really ? Big organizations that make no secret about the fact that they're in it for the money, which they get by offering customers goods and/or services that said customers desire - customers who can by and large take their business elsewhere if they choose ? Highly immoral, indeed ... all these entrepreneurs getting hugely rich simply by employing lots of other people abd generating wealth. Disgusting ...
8th of 7, Nov 30 2017
  

       I'm fairly ignorant of blockchains, but I gather there's a potential catastrophic failure mode if a single bad actor gets control of a large enough share of the distributed block chain files. Also, I gather that a very large proportion of current bitcoin mining is going on within the jurisdiction of a certain large People's Republic. I might buy myself a nice onion instead.
pertinax, Nov 30 2017
  

       Everything gets broken eventually, maybe an advanced quantum calculation. Or maybe I am wrong, and the maths is so solid that it take and visiting extraterrestrial logic.
wjt, Dec 02 2017
  
      
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