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Pants Horseshoe

 Insert horsehoe through first belt loops on either side of fly.
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Instead of a belt insert this horseshoe through the first front pantsloops, or two at the back and cinch your pants. Insert it upside down and you'll be lucky if your pants don't fall down.
—rcarty, Sep 15 2013

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       If anyone wants to attempt an American Psycho style run down of the ins and outs of pants horseshoes - what they should be made of, what they should and should not be worn with, whether Paul Owen's pants horseshoe is or is not better than Bateman's own - I will be all eyes.
—calum, Sep 16 2013
   

       All of my pants are elasticated, but I can see how this would possibly work with a pair of trousers.
—pocmloc, Sep 16 2013
   

       Well, ahem, pants horseshoes are elongated U shaped curves of bent iron or substitute metal that are replicas of the hoof nailed originals of yesteryear, that would be analogous to car tires today, or chains in a closer analogy on winter tires. The horseshoe, when worn on the front of trousers is fed through two belt loops then turned so the belt loops are drawn together. The horsehoe then serves to frame and accentuate the groin, but the two ends of the horseshoe create an opening unobstructive to the penis and testicles, so is suitable for kilt wearers, and allows the fly on trousers to be accessed without hinderance. Of course, the horseshoe can be worn upside down, as a common symbol for good luck, but ironically it is more likely to fall from the loops. The pants horseshoe can also be worn as a belt buckle on a specialty belt with its own loops, and draws these together instead of the pants loops. To remove the pants horseshoe simply turn it, or pull upwards on it for quick release of your trousers. In the rivalry between Paul Owen and Bateman, they chose a horseshoe duel, whereby on the churchbell's final gong at highnoon, they each pulled their horseshoes dropping their trousers, and throwing for eachother's floozie induced erections. Bateman was determined the master horseshoe thrower. The loser of the duel, now impotent from his wounds, Owen, conceded to master Bateman the winner, spit polishing an erection in his honour.
—rcarty, Sep 17 2013
   

       I said I _can_ see how this would work. Thanks anyway.
—pocmloc, Sep 17 2013
   

       Two birds hit with a single stone, one bird is only mildly ruffled, the other is stunned by a beautiful image.
—calum, Sep 17 2013
   


 

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