Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Paper-rattling app

Curmudgeonly expression delivery system
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I am growing more curmudgeonly as I age and remember hearing old folks express this feeling, when I was young, by rattling the news paper, to much effect. I read everything now in the iPhone and find myself grumbling and cursing at almost every new piece if news I come across, but have no way to express my rage non-linguistically from inside of the medium, the way paper-rattling so effectively does. Solution? An iPhone app that uses the gyroscope to deliver a dynamic and expressive paper-rattling sound. Ah, bitterness!
JesusHChrist, Oct 13 2014

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       Careful! Don't damage the bricks!
pocmloc, Oct 13 2014
  

       If you're going to be a proper curmudgeon, you need to learn how to say "Harrumph!" without it appearing contrived. A good "Harrumph!" can be used in many situations, even when reading on an electronic device.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 13 2014
  

       + Still a good one here!
xandram, Oct 15 2014
  

       Carry a magnifying glass too, so you can read the fine print on the Classifieds.
bungston, Oct 15 2014
  

       You mean the obituaries, that's all that old people read. (bigsleep's comment made me laugh loudly, out).
blissmiss, Oct 15 2014
  

       I'm heading towards old, and I never read the obituaries. I figure if I die someone will tell me in person.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 16 2014
  
      
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