Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Pasta Flogger

Boil, then beat until tender
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
  [vote for,

A bundle of long pasta noodles is bound at one end, and attached to a solid handle made of the same material. Shortly before playtime, the entire unit is immersed in boiling water, and cooked to the desired tenderness. Once sufficiently flaccid, the noodles may be used to flagellate those desiring of such attentions.

Spaghettini will likely create a sharp stinging sensation, while ziti will give a softer but powerful thuddy feeling. Fettucce should create more of a biting effect. The noodles may be used hot or cold, depending on the desired sensation.

Once a session is complete, the now "seasoned" noodles may be eaten.

Aq_Bi, Sep 03 2012


blissmiss, Sep 03 2012

       This could be prototyped fairly easily.   

       That's not necessarily a good thing, however.
8th of 7, Sep 03 2012

       I'm most worried that the one positive vote was anonymous.
4and20, Sep 03 2012

       > the now "seasoned" noodles may be eaten.   

Voice, Sep 04 2012

       Shades of Oliver Twist. "Please Sir. May I have some more, a little more aldenti?"
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 04 2012

       This is wtf up there on the ick scale.
nomocrow, Sep 04 2012

       Please don't let this be a precursor to the novel 'Fifty Shades of Pasta'.
Phrontistery, Sep 05 2012

       Please [Phrontistery], I do have at least some class. Clearly this is a precursor to 'The Story of Spaghetti-O'.
Aq_Bi, Sep 05 2012

       Spaghetto-Oh No.
Phrontistery, Sep 06 2012

       One shudders to think what the contributer intends to use as an accompanying sauce.
Lesser Spotted Kiwi, Sep 07 2012


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