Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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You gonna finish that?

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People Just Like Us
"You brought a plate of algae-cultured tofu! How sweet!"
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Moving into a new neighbourhood can be a trying, traumatic time for people, especially when they have come from another culture or region.

Here at 'People Just Like Us' we provide a few couples/singles who will approach you a few days after you move in and welcome you to the neighbourhood.

They'll be a little vague about exactly where they live, but they will make you feel extremely welcome and comfortable, as they are highly skilled actors.

This will all be achieved by doing an extensive background check on you, and probably going through your stuff just after you arrive, to get an idea about you. Your fee is paid as part of the purchase price of the home, and well worth it.

By the time you figure out which ones are real and which are fake you will have settled into a bit of a routine and will feel more comfortable about your choice of neighbourhood.


UnaBubba, Feb 20 2006

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       I'd be afraid they'd latch on to one of my more morbid curiosities & run with it.

reensure, Feb 21 2006
  

       Mmm, algae. Spirulina anyone? No tofu thanks, cooked food is poison.

spidermother, Feb 21 2006
  

       "You mean you've been acting for the last SEVEN YEARS??"   

       "I never had the heart to tell you, but I never actually liked you...."

wagster, Feb 21 2006
  

       //This will all be achieved by doing an extensive background check on you, and probably going through your stuff just after you arrive, to get an idea about you//   

       Sounds like a bust, "quick out of the window!"

skinflaps, Feb 21 2006
  

       Scary, but that's social engineering for you.

UnaBubba, Feb 21 2006
  

       Sounds like an idea some friends and I came up with a few years ago, "Rent A Friend". If you're a rich a-hole, you can pay people to pretend to like you. Only as they are disappearing down your driveway at the end of a great evening do they chat about what a jerk you are. Then we realized that lots of people do that very same job without charging a fee.

Phosphorus, Feb 21 2006
  

       Damn, he's onto me. I'd better leave the party before he realises how clever he is!

UnaBubba, Feb 21 2006
  

       You should have taken this job when the roberts moved into this neighbourhood.

zeno, Feb 22 2006
  

       Didn't [theroberts] move out again, after clashing with the neighbours?

UnaBubba, Feb 22 2006
  

       My point exactly.

zeno, Feb 24 2006
  

       The real neighbours will become wary of you when you mention your imaginary friends, who are supposed to live thereabouts but don't.

pertinax, Apr 27 2007
  

       I misunderstood this (based on its subtitle).   

       I thought the local supermarket would operate some kind of free matchmaking service for real local families, who would be put in touch with other families with similar shopping profiles.

MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 27 2007
  
      
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