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Pet taxidermy by mail

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Request a prepaid dispatch bag from vole through Great Dane size, select eyeball color and desired pose online. Wait 2-3 weeks for curing to complete, then receive your buddy back with fewer care requirements than ever!
Latherdome, Dec 17 2017

Might just want to do this. https://www.cuddlec...campaign.html?id=26
[doctorremulac3, Dec 17 2017]

The opposite of this Dissolve-a-dog
Dissolve-A-Dog [nineteenthly, Dec 18 2017]

Prior art .... That_20Place_20That_20Ships_20Cats
[normzone, Dec 21 2017]

[link]






       [+]   

       Does it have to be your own pet ?   

       Does it actually have to be dead when sealed in the cat bag ?   

       Do you offer Plastination ?
8th of 7, Dec 17 2017
  

       Welcome to the Halfbakery, [Latherdome].
normzone, Dec 17 2017
  

       Wouldn't there be issues with the whole sending a rotting stinking corpse through the mail thing?   

       I guess you could freeze them first but it would have to be a heavily insulated bag. Not sure how you'd freeze a Great Dane.
doctorremulac3, Dec 17 2017
  

       What [normzone] said.
Voice, Dec 17 2017
  

       // Wouldn't there be issues with the whole sending a rotting stinking corpse through the mail thing? //   

       If the cat is alive when stuffed into the bag, then as long as it arrives within 48 hours it should be acceptably fresh.   

       The answer, shirley, is a Schrodinger cat box, which keeps the cat fresh by quantum indeterminacy ?
8th of 7, Dec 17 2017
  

       //keeps the cat fresh by quantum indeterminacy//   

       Good grief, you'll be talking about pyramids next.
bigsleep, Dec 18 2017
  

       There's nothing noticeably indeterminate about pyramids. 25,000 tons of rock has a determined quality all of its own.   

       You always know where you are with pyramids. You bang into one, and say, "Yup, that's a pyramid, that is".
8th of 7, Dec 18 2017
  

       Collapsing into waveform is simply the scientific description of what your soul does when you die and someone exhumes your tomb that you've so carefully stuck in the middle of a pile of huge stones built for years by slaves, hoping that no one would ever come and bother you.   

       This explains why light is both a wave and a particle; it exists in both heavenly and earthly realms...
RayfordSteele, Dec 18 2017
  

       //You bang into one, and say, "Yup, that's a pyramid, that is".//   

       Thereby collapsing the quantum field surrounding the pyramid.   

       I'm been watching quite a few videos on the power of pyramids recently and how they were built by gods with large tuning forks. In some hieroglyphs they had what looks like a large butter knife on one end for making precise rock cuts. I'm guessing it was an alien supplied spork-knife.
bigsleep, Dec 18 2017
  

       That would be a spifenorkenfoon. Invented here on earth, actually, before the Romulans came.
RayfordSteele, Dec 18 2017
  

       //been watching quite a few videos on the power of pyramids recently//   

       Fascinating that the sides of the pyramids are parabolic eh?
I wonder what their focal points once were back when they were all polished up and shiny.
Must have taken quite a bit of math to make that from hand-hewn stone Lego blocks.
  

       Welcome to the most normal place in the entire world, especially the part ruled over by the pulsating orange turnip.
xenzag, Dec 18 2017
  

       We think you'll find that Donald Tusk is a Pole, not a Swede ...
8th of 7, Dec 19 2017
  

       // sending a rotting stinking corpse through the mail //   

       The answer is clearly to avoid the postal service altogether, and instead have the remains conveyed rapidly to the place of treatment by a car and driver, hired on a short term basis just for that one journey.   

       This would presumably be called Taxidermy By Taxi...   

       <runs for cover>
8th of 7, Dec 19 2017
  

       //...have the remains conveyed rapidly to the place of treatment by a car and driver, hired on a short term basis// - if, instead of a car, the hired vehicle used for cadaver transportation was a motorized bicycle such as is used for motor-paced cycling events, it would be "taxidermy by taxi derny".
hippo, Dec 19 2017
  

       //We think you'll find that Donald Tusk is a Pole, not a Swede ...//   

       Not all swedes are created equal. If you get the wrong variety they taste more cabbagey and need hours of cooking to get past the woody stage. Far simpler to chuck a squash into a stew these days, but potato, swede and carrot mash has had to say goodbye to the swede.
bigsleep, Dec 19 2017
  

       //Fascinating that the sides of the pyramids are parabolic eh?//   

       It would be, if they were. Sadly, they're not. Some them (at least the remaining stone structure) have slightly concave faces attrubuted to a combination of post-construction settlement and during-construction error. The latter, in turn, has been posited as arising from the fact that things like measuring rods are not infinitely stiff, and themselves tended to dip a little. The Egyptians had lots of clever ways to keep things straight, flat and level but they weren't always used and weren't always perfect. A few pyramids also have slightly convex faces, or some faces slightly convex and some slightly concave.   

       On those pyramids which retain traces of their original cladding, the surface of the cladding is closer to being flat than the underlying structure.   

       Presumably, there was a stage in the construction of all great pyramids where the foreman sucked air through his teeth and said "Nah, get a skim-coat on that an' it'll be fine guvnor." Only in Egyptian, probably.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 19 2017
  

       Ah to have a time machine...   

       I had one, then went back to before time machines were invented, so then I didn’t.
Ian Tindale, Dec 21 2017
  

       //post-construction settlement and during-construction error//   

       I thought the slight concavity was by design?   

       The casing stones got slightly thicker as you moved from the corner towards the centre of the face. At the same time, the inner structural stones moved slightly inwards, so that the whole structure interlocked.   

       The resulting pyramid was stronger than it would have been if all the stones were cut to the same size, which would have left a large plane along which the stones could move relative to each other.   

       (We have no way to measure the original shape or orientation of the pyramids. All we can measure are the hulks that remain after they've long since been stripped by the local pikeys.)
Wrongfellow, Dec 21 2017
  

       // local pikeys //   

       You should be ashamed of yourself for employing such blatantly pejorative language.   

       Some pikeys, for example Lord Elgin and Heinrich Schliemann, were not local at all, but travelled considerable distances at their own expense to pry bits off ancient architecture, crate it up, and ship it away to museums to allow it to be preserved, studied, and used to crush the spirit of schoolchildren on day trips.
8th of 7, Dec 21 2017
  

       Tsk, it is clearly an autocorrect artefact – it probably should have been most likely “yokel”, not “local”.
Ian Tindale, Dec 21 2017
  

       It could equally well have been "vocal" or "loyal".   

       Autocorrect's a bunner ...
8th of 7, Dec 21 2017
  

       It certainly is a cult.
Ian Tindale, Dec 21 2017
  
      
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