h a l f b a k e r yNot the Happy Cuddle Club.
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One of the greatest wastes of precious petrochemical reserves is that of using aviation fuel for travelling to holiday destinations. Using limited "capital" resources for recreational purposes is universally regarded as bad business sense.
To this end, taking a renewable, pest resource (pigeons)
and harnessing thousands of them to a flying capsule is an eminently sensible way to halt this waste and still enjoy that trip to Phuket.
It has two obvious benefits:
It saves non-renewable resources for critical purposes.
It puts pigeons (African Rock Doves), a pest species that has piggybacked on human migration and urbanisation to escape its natural habitat in the Atlas Mountains to its current status as one of the world's most widespread bird species, to work as useful contributors to the world's economy and ecology.
Given that pigeons are extremely fast and strong fliers, this may yet be the solution to the plague of pigeons besetting this planet.
NB. Harnesses would be designed not to cause the pigeons unnecessary harm and stress in doing what they enjoy best... flying.
[link]
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PS. If you crash on a desert island, just remember... you have several thousand pigeons you can eat before you have to start on each other. |
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Each capsule also contains 100 message capsules, to tie to the strongest pigeons, so they can return home and alert authorities to your plight. |
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"Holiday makers returning from Phuket were delayed in an unusual incident when the plane had to be de-liced." |
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reminiscent of "James and the giant peach" by Roald Dahl. |
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Ladies and Gentleman, this is pigeon 106 speaking to you through MS Windows messenger translator v. 5.6.
It looks as though we'll have to divert flight 2703 due to terrorist actions being perpetrated by Peregrine Falcons. Please be calm as we will divert to the nearest landing strip, ... which appears to be ... Antigua.
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I dunno why, But it's so easy to imagine a UB idea as almost reality. |
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I thought that was the idea, [Zimmy]. |
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"We would like to apologise for the bumpy ride, which is not due to mid-air turbulence, but to our lead pigeon diverting via a newly washed car in Acacia Avenue, Croydon." |
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I suppose this is also gonna get messy if a Peregrine Falcon makes an appearance, too. |
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They'll get full well before you run out of pigeons. |
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How far can a pigeon fly without stopping? |
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Maybe holidays are more important than business. At the end of my life I'd rather recount the holiday trips than the business trips. |
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How would you do that, unless you're
accounting for cognisant sentient
capabilities in the afterlife, coupled with
a full memory of your duration here in
this life? |
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I refer to the end as that period of time where death is imminent and there is yet enough mental acuity for lucid thought and recall. Some may refer to this as "being upon their death bed." |
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As for the strength of recall, I'd be more apt to recall the few gems of vacation travel with clarity than the endless gray of business travel. |
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Discovered stow-aways could always be made to squab the deck. |
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Feather or not they want to. |
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You're right, [bris]. However, this mode of travel would be far more memorable than a grey trip in a 767. |
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I'm sure I read somewhere that bird guano is an incredibly effective natural fertiliser. So the accumulated waste, between flights, could be used to help developing nations get that all-important cash crop going. In Phuket, for example, there must be a few weed plantations that could use some pep. |
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UB's bin laden dem pigeons up with guano for some time now. |
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And [Dub] it was nice of you to anno this UB idea on his birthday. Happy Birthday for 9 May UB! It's absolutely uncanny that two of the greatest intellects in human history were born a few hours apart... |
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<King John> It was my birthday? Why did no-one tell me this? |
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