Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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Poon Tang
Just like the real thing
  (+7, -15)(+7, -15)
(+7, -15)
  [vote for,
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Roland shook a spoonful of the white powder into a glass of water, stirring it in well. Fondly, his memory turned to his childhood and the powdered orange juice that astronauts had supposedly drunk on their way to the moon.

This one was a killer. A little salt, a little sweat, a few esthers that tasted vaguely of urine, a few odours that may possibly have been a little yeasty and Hey Presto!, "Just like the real thing".

Teenaged boys, sad and lonely dweebs and wannabe Lotharios would snap this stuff up.

Roland had ten thousands cases of it, ready to ship as soon as the late night TV and porn mag ads and the spam campaign had done their thing.


UnaBubba, Oct 19 2006

The Chronicles Of Roland http://www.halfbake...sion=Roland&ok=+OK+
Mostly about the sleazy critter himself. [UnaBubba, Oct 19 2006]

The real thing http://en.wikipedia...g/wiki/Tang_(drink)
TANG, that is... also useful as a dishwasher cleaner. [UnaBubba, Oct 25 2006]


Short name, e.g., Bob's Coffee

Destination URL. E.g., http://www.coffee.com/

Description (displayed with the short name and URL.)







       ...the astronauts were drunk on their way to the moon? That explains a lot of things.

xandram, Oct 19 2006
  

       Ewwwwwww[+]

zen_tom, Oct 19 2006
  

       Bleh

squeak, Oct 19 2006
  

       Just add gelatin...
Bleugh.

moomintroll, Oct 19 2006
  

       <humming> Ain't nothing like the real thing baby. Ain't nothing like the real thing. </h>

Shz, Oct 19 2006
  

       Uh.... no. Something may taste good, you don't have to *drink* it! Ugh... I think I'm gonna be sick.

21 Quest, Oct 19 2006
  

       //A little salt, a little sweat, a few esthers that tasted vaguely of urine, a few odours that may possibly have been a little yeasty//   

       Is this 'friend' 'Roland' actually you [UB]?

craigts, Oct 19 2006
  

       What happens when you find a string.... Or when your teenage daughter keeps stealing your "magic" tang.

Chefboyrbored, Oct 19 2006
  

       Obligatory regference to Vagina Jam. Partially baked, I'd say.

daseva, Oct 19 2006
  

       Damn, [GumBob] beat me to it.

shapu, Oct 19 2006
  

       Roland is out there, on the dark side of my moon, so to speak, [craigts]. I merely channel Roland, you might say. Roland is nothing like the me the world sees. He's in all of us. He's the part of all of us we keep hidden from the world, with the possible exception of [benfrost] (who appears to have lost an internal battle with his "roland" long ago.)   

       Roland has ideas that are... sleazy, questionable, "off" and almost certainly in bad taste and very poor practicality.   

       As for this idea; Try it with a nip of vodka.

UnaBubba, Oct 19 2006
  

       UB, I gotta hand it to you: you have a real knack for showing off your Roland.

21 Quest, Oct 19 2006
  

       <tone=world weary>Years of practice, my son. <avuncular pat on the back for you> Years of practice!</t>   

       Search the site for Roland. You will find he has done some pretty disgusting things in his business career.

UnaBubba, Oct 19 2006
  

       Did you see the very last one? No wonder he never came back.

Zimmy, Oct 19 2006
  

       Something like this probably gets used in the used panty trade.   

       Perhaps Roland could add some addictive chemical element to the mix to ensnare repeat customers (yeah, I know that there's already an addictive physical element playing (with) a part).

boysparks, Oct 19 2006
  

       There are currently 8 inventions in the food:genital category. Kudos.

Texticle, Oct 19 2006
  

       Roland might have hit upon a winning combination - Poon Tang and spam. For the vegan crowd maybe you could mix in a little vinegar and make a salad dressing. Call it "Monica Vinaigrette".

Canuck, Oct 20 2006
  

       "Strained through a blue dress."

UnaBubba, Oct 20 2006
  

       possibly seasoned with smoked salt?

Chefboyrbored, Oct 20 2006
  

       A dash of lemon juice would improve both, markedly.

UnaBubba, Oct 21 2006
  

       How about a nice, hot cup of poon tea? Add a little sugar or honey and sip it by the fireplace... some things are just better hot...

21 Quest, Oct 21 2006
  

       Would you have the Ultimate Bloody Mary if you were to mix it with vodka and Clamato Juice?

Canuck, Oct 22 2006
  

       Vodka, Celery salt, Worcestershire Sauce, Tabasco Sauce, Clamato Juice, Salt, Pepper is a Bloody Caesar. I guess this version could be the Bloody Caesarian.

jurist, Oct 22 2006
  

       "Just like the real thing"? What/who have you been eating, UB?

sleeka, Oct 22 2006
  

       None of your effing business, [sleeka] ;)

UnaBubba, Oct 23 2006
  


 
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