Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Potatograph

 Click! Tac-a-tac-a-tac-a-tac-a-tac-whirr, thoomp!
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A couple, of Japanese appearance, stand hand in hand on the Bridge Of Sighs. A passerby focuses their camera, a bulky affair, and depresses the shutter button. A flash, and a brown and white lump, half the size of a fist, falls to the ground.

The couple thank the 'photographer' profusely, then open the camera back, and remove the other half of a potato. The young lady looks intently at the cut side of the potato, then rummages in her shoulder bag and brings out a stamp pad and a piece of fine Hosho paper.

She presses the cut potato against the inked pad, then carefully presses it against the paper.

Holding up the paper triumphantly, she shows her partner a beautiful, instant Ukiyo-e print of the scene.

Meantime, he is cleaning away the pulverised potato that was etched away by the exquisite carving mechanism inside the camera body, before loading another large potato into the machine.

—UnaBubba, Mar 02 2003

Photo Stamp Machine http://www.party-di..._pages/P_stamp.html
[Helium, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

I'm probably the only one who hadn't a clue,but... http://www.surimono.com/
...Ukiyo-e: "Images of the Floating Wirld" [angel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

For mash get Smash! http://news.bbc.co....tainment/572903.stm
One of the best British television advertisements ever. For a really poor quality (IMHO) instant potato. [Jinbish, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

The autochrome - another photographic application of the potato http://www.awm.gov....lour/autochrome.asp
[robinism, Feb 11 2005]

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       I have seen automated carving devices that carve Chinese signature-chops out of ivory (bone or plastic these days). The software is available too - you need some kind of posterizing filter. I've seen similar examples around.   

       I reckon you could do this with a micro-miniature PC and a small line-printer with attached rotary carving head. So yes, this is very doable.   

       And cool too (+)
—FloridaManatee, Mar 03 2003
   

       There's a photo booth type machine here that takes your photo and makes it into a ink stamp. You can add backgrounds etc. I searched and found this similar one on the net, although the background options seem more limited. <link>
—Helium, Mar 03 2003
   

       <aside> A friend of mine, on seeing the Bridge of Sighs for the first time said "It's not that big..."</aside>
—hippo, Mar 03 2003
   

       Too cool. I want one that utilises radishes!
—madradish, Mar 03 2003
   

       You'll need some kind of chip, I'd imagine.
—whimsickle, Mar 03 2003
   

       Great idea. You'd need a good eye for composition, though.
—egbert, Mar 03 2003
   

       It's good nobody mentioned the French (fry) picture postcard model.
—FarmerJohn, Mar 03 2003
   

       Nice idea! <croissant> It would be nice if there was a red/green/blue seperation option, which produced three potatoes, one for each aforementioned colour component. Then you could ink 'em up with r, g, b and print them all in the same place, to recreate the original picture in potato-colour-vision!
—lardus, Mar 03 2003
   

       Lol, if only for the image of tourists carrying ten pound sacks of potatoes. Btw, you are wasting half a potato each time - no reason why the second half can't also be used for a photo print.
—dalek, Mar 03 2003
   

       You say potatograph and I say potatograph...   

       Nice idea. You could also replace the camera battery with used bits of potato.   

       <ducking the pedant police> Actually, tourists very rarely stand *on* the Bridge of Sighs (at least the one in Venice, anyway) to have their photographs or Ukiyo-e prints made. The Bridge of Sighs is a fully enclosed passage over a canal, between two buildings (the Doge's Palace and the adjacent jail). What tourists usually do is stand on a nearby foot bridge over the same canal and take pictures with the Bridge of Sighs in the background. </dpp>
—beauxeault, Mar 03 2003
   

       Don't you hate it when you spot the perfect scene and are completely out of potatoes?
—waugsqueke, Mar 03 2003
   

       Can I award this idea potato latkes?
[lardus]//It would be nice if there was a red/green/blue seperation option//
Color separation printing is a bit more complicated--starting with the fact that additive color reproduction (ink from separate color plates) typically uses cyan-magenta-yellow-black (CMYK). RGB is for subtractive, projection-based imaging.
There's also the bits about dot size, frequency, angle etc., far beyond the computational capabilities of the potato.
—roby, Mar 03 2003
   

       The color potatograph camera is engineered to execute a colorspace conversion from RGB to CYMK using solanum colorspace as an intermediate. Once the conversion is complete, four base layer spuds are fashioned as plates. Four matching thin slices, with high detail cut through, are used as lithography masks through which the color channel details are added, sputtered on, with a layer of instant mashed-potato buds in solution.
—bristolz, Mar 03 2003
   

       Truly instant potatographs would have to use "Smash" film?
(link)		   

       (later -[egbert]: <groan>   

       Hmm - I think this potatography must be alien technology =>
potatographs....instant potato.....crap british telly...martians"
potatographs....photography...."Tripods".....crap british telly...martians!)
—Jinbish, Mar 03 2003
   

       Jin, that would be for soft focus pics.
—egbert, Mar 03 2003
   

       //the computational capabilities of the potato//
Have you seen what today's chips can do?
—angel, Mar 03 2003
   

       [bristolz] Of course: spud-based stochastic screening!
—roby, Mar 03 2003
   

       Then there's the new prototype with the 3D printer mechanism inside that fashions all of the spud elements out of instant mashed potato buds building up a detailed printing surface in successive layers. The results are too fragile yet for a production model but when inked properly, to avoid "bud grain dot gain," print with exquisite perfection of detail.
—bristolz, Mar 03 2003
   

       **NEW**
Pringles Postcards !		   

       Thanks, bris. I wasn't sure how to go about the etching of 4 colour litho-style sep. plates.
—UnaBubba, Mar 04 2003
   

       When this idea gets baked, do you add butter or cheese?
—silverstormer, Mar 04 2003
   

       Both, with bacon, sour cream and spring onions.
—UnaBubba, Mar 05 2003
   

       I think someone else did that one already.
—DrCurry, Mar 05 2003
   

       And here I am using film like a sucker.
—Worldgineer, Mar 15 2003
   

       it has endless uses too, you'll never run out of photos (provided you don't lose the potato) For really long landscape photos, you could use a kosher pickle
—igirl, Mar 15 2003
   

       Sorry thought this was about a Potato Graph, where you show the results of a scientific study with horizontal potatoes. (Not to be confused with Steve Martin's Rubber Chicken Graph)   

       Yamera™... For sweet potatography.
—ByteMarquis, Mar 16 2003
   

       Ok, everyone -- 'Au gratiiiiin!' This idea straddles the blur between halfbaking and -its- Japanese artform analog, chindogu.   

       Would standardized formats emerge, for compactness versus resolution? New potatoes would make good point- and-tubers; (half-)baking potatoes fill the medium format niche; and perhaps we'll see a Kodak Yukon Gold line (Fuji could counter with an apple version).   

       Oh, and [egbert], consider your worthy pun now commented on.
—n-pearson, Jun 28 2003
   

       Mealy potatoes like Russet would probably have high numerical ISO equivalencies and yield grainy results yet function better in low light while their waxy counterparts, like the Yukon and others would have a tight grain structure and a lower numerical ISO equivalent. Unlike film, refrigerating potatoes would lower their ISO.   

       Yams would be limited to auragraphs, IR and other specialty exposures.
—bristolz, Jun 28 2003
   

       But we have all forgotten the 'brown and white lump, half the size of a fist' that falls to the ground.
It's the NEgatives goddammit!
—gnomethang, Jun 28 2003
   

       In Terry Pratchett's Discworld novels, photography has not been invented, but small boxes are available containing gnomes who can draw extremely fast, achieving a similar effect. This even makes movies possible. I therefore think the etching should be done by gnomes, who could then eat the remaining half of the vegetable, reducing litter and providing energy for the next picture.
—parolyn, Sep 08 2003
   

       What's the dpi limit on a potato camera?   

       Maybe take advantage of poor resolution and use banana instead of potato to get a true "impressionist" effect.
—sophocles, Sep 08 2003
   

       That's great [parolyn]. Can you send me two dozen gnomes? I'm starting a photography club.
—UnaBubba, Sep 08 2003
   

       With the new Rasta pixielation we should be able to get roughly 14,000 on the head of a pin soon.   

       I wish you wouldn't harp on about the seal thing, [Rods].
—UnaBubba, Sep 08 2003
   

       Yes.
—Inyuki, Nov 05 2003
   

       What a natural~hardly believe it's not baked! Not only with the potatoes eyes but knowing it's very high in vitamin C
—no12pass, Dec 28 2003
   

       Because carrying around a sack of potatoes is so much easier than a roll of film, among the thousand other reasons... (-)
—KLRico, Dec 28 2003
   

       That's why you employ a porter, silly!
—UnaBubba, Nov 11 2004
   

       I want one....several, actually. I want a panoramic model, probably need to use giant squash as the media.
—normzone, Nov 11 2004
   

       Pantato.
—bristolz, Nov 11 2004
   

       The autochrome, an early kind of color photograph, made use of potato starch grains coating a glass plate. (see link)
—robinism, Feb 11 2005
   

       [robinism] very cool link!
—sophocles, Feb 11 2005
   


 

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