Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Predecorated Wallpaper

Never hang a picture again
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I despise wallpaper. The stripes make me dizzy, the redundant flower patterns make me nauseous, and the complex scenes of rifle-toting huntsmen in pursuit of frantic deer disturb me. Yet I am shamefully slow at adorning my walls with meaningful works of art, family photos, culturally diverse tapestries, etc. Thus I wish upon a croissant that there was predecorated wallpaper. (This seems like such a simple idea that I am surprised is has not already been suggested. If it has, oops.) Here's my pitch, anyhow:

Are you into the classical art? Do you pine for a Rembrandt, a Picasso, a Van Gogh on your wall? Why not get yourself a roll of "The Masters" pre-dec wallpaper? Do you attach your wallet to your baggy, black, steel-studded pants with a heavy chain? Go get some "Grunge" pre-dec wallpaper replete with deathmetal posters and waterstains on the wall. Do decorate your mantelpiece with pastel ceramic bunnies? You need some "Chintz"pre-dec wallpaper (cross-stitches really look hand-sewn!). No matter what your taste, there is a pre-dec wallpaper pattern for you.

The confusion that may arise over the pre-printed family photos (most likely not your own) can be easily remedied. If you are not feeling industrious (as is evidenced in the fact that you just bought a roll of predecorated wallpaper) get a Lick-N-Stick photo frame and position it over the other family, then insert the photo of your choice to add a personal touch to your tasteful new home design.

Note: I suggest that predecorated wallpaper be printed on a solid-colored background so as to avoid the aforementioned complaints of dizziness, revulsion, and unease.

Twenty Dollar Duck, Aug 12 2006

It's called "Trompe L'oeil" http://www.wallpape...ogID=7961590&Page=3
Kind of like this? [Galbinus_Caeli, Aug 12 2006]

[link]






       Very nice. +
dbmag9, Aug 12 2006
  

       Sorry, baked for centuries. See link for Trompe L'oeil.
Galbinus_Caeli, Aug 12 2006
  

       Seems to me that if you are going to go through all the trouble of matching and lining up the pieces (because I assume that you are not going to have the "family portrait" over and over every few feet) or hire someone else to do it, then you might as well paint the whole thing and hang a couple of posters instead.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 12 2006
  

       What lovely options! The only thing I object to is the inclusion of practical objects. (Can I be that picky with predecorated wallpaper?) I want to READ the books, not look at them. And the fireplace? They must live closer to the Equator than I do.   

       I'm actually kind of relieved this exists. I had faith that people really were this lazy, and this reaffirms my belief. Now they just need to update their themes a bit.
Twenty Dollar Duck, Aug 12 2006
  

       It is not just laziness. Mostly it is cheapness. (Two of the most powerful forces in the universe. The most powerful being stupidity, of course.)   

       People often use Trompe L'oeil to make small simple houses look larger and grander.
Galbinus_Caeli, Aug 12 2006
  
      
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