h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Pub Olympics, a sporting contest where training and dedication mean little; yet where derring-do and bravado count for a great deal."
<muted applause>
"Tonight's lineup is truly spectacular. We'll see Chooky Wilson defend his darts title;
Scooter McTavish attempt the Standing Jump onto a Wet Bar" world record; two crazy Aussies stop the ceiling fans with their heads and "Mad Dog" Woods consume an entire pack of water crackers in five minutes, without a drink of any sort."
<slightly louder, amidst drunken shouts of encouragement>
"Finally, tonight will also see Shazza Barrington down 20 tequila and habañero shooters in 60 seconds. Shazza has already qualified for the 2010 Pub Olympics, to be held in the iconic Cheers Bar next year, so this will be a chance for you to pass the hat around and help Shazza with her airfare. With a bit of luck, Chooky will also get through tonight's team selection with a high score, along with Scooter and one of the Aussies."
"Anyone can have a go, though not everyone can make a go of it. If you think you're good enough, step up."
The Indoor League.
http://en.wikipedia.../wiki/Indoor_League
The real pub olympics. [DrBob, Oct 12 2009]
[link]
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We presume that the full bore free pistol Practical Handgun event will be an El Mariachi-style shootout in the bar ? In which case, have a croissant. Sorry about the bullet hole and the powder burns..... |
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We'll also see a record attempt by the local cops, as they round up a handful of belligerent arseholes and see how far back from the paddywagon they can stand, and still throw them in the back. |
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// belligerent arseholes // |
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As long as they're not Dwarves; that would be cruel, prejudiced and demeaning. |
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//cruel, prejudiced and demeaning// |
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Put that in latin and "Hey Presto!", instant pub olympics motto. |
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"Nobody tosses a dwarf." - Gimli, LOTR |
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I've never met a good classical Latin word for "prejudiced". I don't think the Romans saw much wrong with assessing people in groups before actually meeting them. And yes, I know the etymology of "prejudiced" is Latin. It's ironic. |
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Nearest I can get to it is propably praeiudicium, which is not quite there. Praeiudicio, perhaps? |
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This reminds me of the '6th Form End of Term Olympics' held at least once (1981) at my old School. |
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The highlight was the Great Chair race, in which teams aquired a chair with castors, appointed a 'driver' to sit in the chair and pushed them round a preset course through the school as fast as possible. I was co-pilot of a sofa and escaped with only minor injuries. |
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If Pub Olympics could generate a fraction of the humour and excitement of that day - count me in! |
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We did something remarkably similar, [Twizz], also in 1981 at the end of my 6th Form year. We also stole the bell from the school chapel and hid it in the filtration inlet of the school pool. |
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I regarded fan-stopping and other vulgar pub sports as a steady source of supplemental income in my late teens. For instance, having broken my jaw while playing rugby at high school, I found I could easily get a billiard ball in and out of my mouth, without any difficulty. |
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That one alone was good for ten to twenty dollars a week in bets. My weekly take-home wage was $108, at the time. |
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Sounds decidedly like the Greek games done every year at college. |
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