Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Punch and Judy News Network

News delivered in the format "Who is bashing whom?"
  [vote for,

Given that most news these days is utter rubbish / spin / fake etc it might just be better to stick a tweet sized bulletin, delivered by an en-swazzled character.

So the general make-up of a news item would be -

1. The Punch - he is the one giving someone a good truncheoning and could be anyone accusing someone of something, an aggressor etc.

2. The Judy - this character is the victim getting smacked around for whatever reason.

3. The bulletin delivered in swazzle style before the beating.

4. The beating itself, traditionally using some stick type weapon.

5. The Punch looks and camera and delivers the phrase "That's the way to do it."

... and here is the news ...

A lonely voter stands stage right holding a ballot paper, a spanish policeman puppet enters stage left.

Swazzle: "Just because you live in a democracy doesn't mean you can hold your own elections".

*Smack* *Smack* *Smack* *Smack*

Swazzle: "That's the way to do it".

A KJU puppet stands stage right holding a missile and a flag and a golden haired buffoon with a golden truncheon enters stage left.

Swazzle: "You're a very bad man".

*Smack* *Smack* *Smack* *Smack*

Swazzle: "That's the way to do it".

... and now the weather ...

Swazzle: "Expect showers, here, here, here and here".

*Smack* *Smack* *Smack* *Smack*

Swazzle: "That's the way to do it".

bigsleep, Oct 02 2017

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       //Bit of a spoiler, there?//   

       Its global warming.
bigsleep, Oct 03 2017

       Just because you live in a democracy doesn't mean you can hold your own elections. *Smack* *Smack* *Smack* *Smack*   

       Bun for that basic observation alone.
RayfordSteele, Oct 03 2017

       " Bienvenue au pays des mangeurs de grenouilles "   

       *Smack* *Smack* *Smack* *Smack*
8th of 7, Oct 03 2017

       This happens in Riddley Walker, in a way. I am primarily pointing this out so that I can evangelise for this amazing book.
calum, Oct 05 2017


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