Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Put a Toilet On The Moon

  [vote for,

There currently isn’t one at all – a legitimate requirement is thus identified. Obviously, sign it before sending it there.
Ian Tindale, Feb 07 2018


       Can build a set of scales into it and we use it weigh people?
xenzag, Feb 07 2018

       Only one at a time.
Ian Tindale, Feb 07 2018

       <Sting>"Giant dumps are what you take, squatting on the moon"</Sting>
hippo, Feb 07 2018

       Just do your business in a small crater ... the whole place is a shithouse anyway.
8th of 7, Feb 07 2018

       What shape would be carved in the outhouse door?
RayfordSteele, Feb 07 2018

       It'll need to be located in a pressurised building, otherwise the water in the bowl will boil off in the near-vacuum of the moon's atmosphere.
Wrongfellow, Feb 07 2018

       Make it a "dry" closet - common in the 19th century.   

       Double flap valve. Dump in a thick layer of dust or ash. Deposit your outgoings on said layer. Pull lever, flap opens and load drops through onto lower valve. Release lever, then push the other way. Outer flap now opens, depositing load on heap.   

       On the moon, any moisture or volatile organics will sublime* away in minutes.   

       *Items tend first to freeze, then the volatile components sublime. Unless it is a large mass of liquid, boiling is rarely observed. The "boiling" pulls energy from the liquid, which quickly freezes.   

       // What shape would be carved in the outhouse door? //   

       Any building where politicians congregate. They're all full of shit, too.
8th of 7, Feb 07 2018

       It makes no sense to carve a crescent moon into it, obviously.   

       The real trick is this: how many to build? Who knows how many sexes alien species have? Maybe that's why they never pass by here, because of a lack of of decent restroom facilities.
RayfordSteele, Feb 07 2018

       And thus the Fermi paradox is resolved.   

       " Just keep going, dear, I can hold it a little longer till we get to a place with decent facilities "
normzone, Feb 07 2018

       The door would have a crescent Earth carved into it of course.   

       "Ew! This isn't green cheese!"   

       Well, if Elon can send a Tesla to the asteroid belt...
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2018

       //Who knows how many sexes alien species have? // It'll be either one, or two.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 07 2018

       A boolean, rather than an integer? It might even be floating point.
Ian Tindale, Feb 08 2018

       I might follow this idea up with “Paint a crude penis and balls in the Kuiper Belt”, as a kind of homage to accessible graffiti and the back covers of school exercise books.
Ian Tindale, Feb 08 2018

       //The door would have a crescent Earth carved into it of course.   

       "Ew! This isn't green cheese!" — 2 fries shy of a happy meal//   

       Nice! The rare 1-2 punch, dual joke.   

       Well done 2.
doctorremulac3, Feb 08 2018

       Can we have Trump sitting on it?
xenzag, Feb 08 2018

       No. Sending him to space is far too dangerous. He’d likely start a war with whatever passers by came along. It’s best to keep him sealed inside an airtight container for a few millennia.
RayfordSteele, Feb 08 2018

       You're not thinking about this, either of you. Don In Space is humanity's last, best hope for survival*.   

       He could commission a Space Wall** to protect the U.S. of A. (and incidentally all manner of undesirable foreigners, but that can't be helped) from undocumented migratory earth-orbit-crossing objects intent on landing without permission, TSA screening, a visa, or even a passport.   

       Oh, you can laugh now .... <makes encouraging gestures intended to elicit laughter>.   

       *While your slot on the Galactic Comedy Channel does bring in a fair bit of advertising revenue, the producers aren't going to spring for any asteroid-deflection kit for you. There are plenty of other idiot species in the galaxy just waiting for their shot at fame. You're nothing special, don't kid yourselves.   

       **Financed, of course, by the Mexican government.
8th of 7, Feb 08 2018

       "To seek out new worlds and boldly go where no one has gone before".
bigsleep, Feb 08 2018

       ..... and stay there" Now this would be easily financed. Most people on the entire planet would dig deep to pay for Trump to be sent to the moon to sit on a toilet for a very, very long time. It could be a nice shiny toilet - even a solid gold one.
xenzag, Feb 08 2018

       “Galactic Comey Channel”   

RayfordSteele, Feb 08 2018

       Sp. fixed.   

       // It could be a nice shiny toilet - even a solid gold one. //   

       "Look on my motions, ye Mighty, and Despair ..."
8th of 7, Feb 08 2018

       Look on my motions, ye Mighty, and Despair of tiny hands.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2018

       We should sell it to him as Trump Space.
RayfordSteele, Feb 08 2018

       There could be a miniature snow globe of "Trump On The Moon On A Golden Toilet". Shaking the globe would release a storm of miniature moon dust that would swirl around the Trumpster. I think these would be big sellers. (more money to fund the project)
xenzag, Feb 08 2018

       //What shape would be carved in the outhouse door? //   

       Well, an orrery (from the lunar perspective) but how to prevent the armillary sphere getting tangled up with loo roll would be a bit of a bugger.
not_morrison_rm, Feb 08 2018

       // I think these would be big sellers. //   

       We'll take a dozen cases. Free shipping for cash with order ?
8th of 7, Feb 08 2018

       //a storm of miniature moon dust// Would a shitstorm not be more appropriate, mon amie?
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 08 2018

       I assumed that no shit ever emerged from The Trump via the usual derriere orifice. Does he not use it as fuel for his mental processes?
xenzag, Feb 08 2018

       He's rather composed of it. How exactly they polished and tinted it so well is a mystery.
RayfordSteele, Feb 08 2018

       They put the job out to tender, and Microsoft won.   

       They weren't the lowest bidder, but their decades of expertise in applying monomolecular layers of precious metals to excrement was a factor. What really swung it was their track record of getting otherwise quite intelligent customers to actually pay out money for gilded dog turds.   

       A triumph of marketing over olfactory discrimination; if it looks like a turd, and it smells like a turd, and it sqashes like a turd, it's ... the latest upgrade to Office.
8th of 7, Feb 08 2018

       According to the internet, the moon was once the sign for "ladies room" and the sun was the sign for "men's room". Over time the men's outhouses were disregarded and the ladies outhouses were maintained.
Voice, Feb 09 2018

       "According to the internet", the British Royal Family are alien reptiles, Washington D.C. was laid out by Freemasons, and the U.S. Air Force have an experimental hypersonic suborbital reconnaissance vehicle propelled by a deuteron ram ...
8th of 7, Feb 09 2018

       So is that why the old outhouses at Buckingham Palace have reptiles carved into the doors?
Wrongfellow, Feb 09 2018

       No, that's pure coincidence; George IV had an extensive lizard collection, but later monarchs repurposed the buildings.
8th of 7, Feb 09 2018

       and somewhere around the time of Edward VII they removed most of the lizards.
FlyingToaster, Feb 09 2018

       Yes, they brought them indoors with the rest of the family.
8th of 7, Feb 09 2018


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