Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Business Failure Incubator

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.

user:
pass:
register,


                               

Quantum Toast Storage

Store your toast indefinitely.
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,
against]

So your quantum toast storage device (QTSD) comes in four parts: the quantum toast transmitter device (QTTD), quantum toast receiver device (QTRD), quantum toast computer device (QTCD), and quantum toast qubit device (QTQD).

You simply insert your freshly-toasted toast into the QTTD, then you press the button. The QTTD seals itself perfectly, leaving the toast completely isolated from its surroundings.

The QTTD then uses a miniature particle accelerator to create a tiny black hole, then runs this black hole through your toast. This black hole of toast is then measured in every way possible, and the results are sent to the QTCD. Since the black hole has been measured in every way, it no longer exists, and the QTTD can be opened safely.

The QTCD performs lots of calculations, then simply holds the qubits in the QTQD. Then, an hour or two later, you press the button on the QTRD, and the qubits from the QTQD will be fed into another black hole.

The QTCD will have munged these qubits in such a way that when they're injected into the black hole, the Hawking radiation from the black hole assembles itself into toast. The QTRD will perform some final manipulations, producing fresh qubits which can be sent back to the QTQD.

Finally, you open the QTRD, only to find that due to errors in the computations, the toast has turned into assorted illegal drugs and counterfeit cash, and called the police. That's what happens when the inside of the QTQD gets scratched.

ihope127, Sep 04 2006

Schrödinger's Toaster Schrödinger's Toaster
Shameless self promotion. [zen_tom, Sep 05 2006]

[link]






       Hello [ihope127], and welcome. See what your QTSD does with this croissant.
wagster, Sep 04 2006
  

       Didn't Alan O'Dowd have one of these?
zen_tom, Sep 04 2006
  

       is he related to boy george?
po, Sep 04 2006
  

       Does it have to be toast?
daseva, Sep 04 2006
  

       //is he related to boy george?// - Or my missus?
wagster, Sep 04 2006
  

       Maybe a plastic fake piece of toast could be used to fool the machine into making real toast. Mwaaahahahhahaha!
daseva, Sep 04 2006
  

       Is there some reason this shouldn't be MFD'd for magic and bad science?
ldischler, Sep 04 2006
  

       Yeh - bad science. You don't toast toast, you toast bread...
fridge duck, Sep 04 2006
  

       If I had said freshly-toasted bread, would you have said that bread is not freshly-toasted?
ihope127, Sep 04 2006
  

       its a fab post though - I love it...   

       no vote, sorry.
po, Sep 04 2006
  

       I'm going to have to go with [ihope127] here. Freshly-toasted toast all the way. Consider freshly-churned butter. It's not freshly-churned cream, is it?   

       A freshly-born baby isn't a freshly-born foetus, similarly.
Texticle, Sep 05 2006
  

       Sorry, yes - I meant George O'Dowd (of boyish fame) - after everything has turned to illegal drugs, it phones the police and reports a break in - I'm not sure where I got Alan from.   

       The idea itself, is *complete* bollocks, but in a good way. [+]
zen_tom, Sep 05 2006
  

       [marked-for-retention] Contains the word "munged".
wagster, Sep 05 2006
  

       Ah yes, well spotted [wags] - the little known "munged" defence!
zen_tom, Sep 05 2006
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle