Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Random-Selected Mandatory Winter Olympics

Wanna have an Olympic gold medal?
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I like watching the Olympics when they come around. But most of the sports are very slow-paced. To make it a lttle more interseting to watch, why not try this. In every participating country, have a lottery for each event. Then the winners will be flew or driven to the Olympics. Then, before the actual Games, a one-week training course will begin. For example, the pros will teach the lottery winners the rules and techniques of the games they are participating in. From there on out, the Olympics happen as normal. With the opening ceremonies, followed by the actual events and the medal rounds. Then, the coup-de-grace, the closing ceremonies. Who knows, some Amish guy could come back home to the Praires with a gold medal in luge! Hey, who knows? The reason? Concrete proof that given a selection of lucky numbers, anybody can kick some ass at the olympics.
HomerX, Oct 01 2002

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       This is because we beat you at the curling, isn't it?
[ sctld ], Oct 01 2002
  

       Hmm.. Someone who's never ridden skis before has to do the freestyle ski jump.. interesting!   

       <pendant>Involuntary, purposes </pendant>
Mr Burns, Oct 01 2002
  

       <pendant>Interesting, flown, With [frag] rounds.</pendant>   

       ¯HomerX: Old buddy, old pal. I enjoy your ideas, but you need to switch to cashews and beer, and back off of the caffiene a little. ;-) This one needs to address the reality that the Olympics (like the Halfbakery) only works if there is a perceptable chance that the next games will be better than the last. How many crews of lucky (?) amateur lugers can hit the wall at 90mph before the carnage is more interesting to watch than holding my breath for a minute to see professionals narrowly escape disaster.
reensure, Oct 01 2002
  

       All I can think of is Olympic events for people with "involuntary movements". Tics and the like. Odd.
blissmiss, Oct 01 2002
  

       I thought this was going to be about people involentarily being in the olympics.   

       "What do you mean you don't want to do the luge? Here's a little push for you....."
baron555, Oct 01 2002
  

       Closer to "Improvisational Olympics"
bristolz, Oct 01 2002
  

       Gives a new meaning to "dope tests for the Olympics".
FarmerJohn, Oct 01 2002
  

       Actually, Mandatory Olympic Participation would be a better title.
globaltourniquet, Oct 01 2002
  

       I dunno a 'Olypic 'gold would be kinda cool
skinflaps, Oct 01 2002
  

       Maybe just "Limpics"
bristolz, Oct 01 2002
  

       Oh come on, who's going to pay to watch ordinary, unfit people being forced to compete in demading painful athletic events, this is nothing more than low-lethality torture in front of the TV cameras ....... ah. Yes, I see your point. Fat man on a bobsleigh ....
8th of 7, Oct 02 2002
  

       Technical Merit
1.2 • 1.3 • 1.1• 1.3 • 5.8 • 1.2

Artistic Merit
1.3 • 1.2 • 1.1 • 1.2 • 5.9 • 1.3
thumbwax, Oct 02 2002
  

       //In every participating country, have a lottery for each event// - shirley this means that only those who buy tickets are eligible for entry. This means that it becomes voluntary once more.   

       I'm with gt, Mandatory Winter Olympics is much better, but here you would have to randomly select people from the electoral roll.   

       Whazzat - I'm in the ladies figure skating event?
PeterSilly, Oct 02 2002
  

       8th - or in a tank.. ;op
yamahito, Oct 02 2002
  

       Oooh yama, you are too mean!   

       This could be fun as well as funny. I enjoy most winter sports but usually don't have the money or opportunity to participate in them, I'd give it a go if my name were pulled out.   

       It reminds me of the Australian speed skater Steve Bradbury who won an Olympic gold medal because everyone else fell down.
madradish, Oct 04 2002
  

       Hey he won the medal fair and square. It's not his fault that the lead skater tripped over the wir.... er.... tripped and everybody else was too graceless to avoid him *innocently evil* ;-)   

       Seriously though, they should have had the race again.
CrumbsDM, Oct 04 2002
  

       But as steve bradbury said falling over is part of the race, people fall over all the time and the race isn't restarted for them, so he did win fair and square, damn lucky though.
Gulherme, Oct 04 2002
  

       The funny part was that the same thing happened in his heat and *again* in the final. They should stick a picture of him in the dictionary next to 'fluke'.
madradish, Oct 04 2002
  

       When I wrote this idea, comedy was in mind. The (one-in-a-million) chance of a 350-lb sumo wrestion representing Japan in curling is side-splitting. Also, the fact that a ex-stripper might be in figure skating. Or a celebrity in any sport. Comic genius right there. Man, I would pay big money to see a guy like Adam Sandler curl, John Cleese figure skate or Michael Jackson playing hockey. Oh, the possibilities...
HomerX, Oct 04 2002
  

       But would you pay big money to see your local barber loose at table tennis? I think not.   

       The Olympics is not a laughing matter.
[ sctld ], Oct 04 2002
  
      
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