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Sewer,Traffic, Line, Keys and Registration porn
I have an acronym for the things in my life that I experience a lot
that used to seem like a waste of time and make me frustrated
anxious, that I now regard as evidence that God or nature really
really does not want me to do something or other and is thus
making life bureaucratic
and full of nonsense for me. This
STLKR which stands for:
Actually, now that I am an old fart without any goals, I think of
these aspects of my life not as obstacles to getting what I want
evidence that God or nature is very careful and consistent about
punishing you for not learning.
Increasingly I regard them in the way I used to regard the
I used to engage in in order to deal with the frustration of having
endure these activities on the way to some goal or other. The
addictions quickly became the goals.
So now I think to myself, "ah, yeah, how about a little LINE, ah
yeah," as I am getting into the 15 minute line at Starbucks every
morning. Or, as I am fumbling about with my 40 keys to figure out
which one is the one to the bathroom, for the 10th year in a row, I
now think, "ah, yeah, I'm gonna enjoy me some KEY". So SEWER,
TRAFFIC, LINE, KEYS, and REGISTRATION, have finally attained the
exulted position in my life that SEX, DRUGS, and ROCK AND ROLL,
once held, and that was originally occupied by CHURCH, FAMILY
HONEWORK. Ok it was never occupied by homework, that was a
and thus the rest of the progression I guess,
Anyway. I am not a jealous man, so I would like other people to be
able to have the same experience as me, especially now that I am
able to be fully conscious and present to the details of the STLKR
activities in my life, and that I can recognize the intricacy and
delicacy with which God or nature orchestrated these activities.
I am convinced also that this kind of recorded footage and not
Cosmos or the morning news will be our legacy, is the best
of the way our world works, and will be the research playground
So I am proposing STLKR porn, which is not just sheer volume
database recordings of first person STLKR experiences but rather,
ready-for-consumption highlights. Kind of like YouTube for
Think about it: all the line, key fumbling, sewage smell and
homeless people experiences, endless loops of registration
nightmare, and passive aggressive traffic interaction you could
want, all in one place, so that if your life was going to end up that
way, well then now you would never have to leave home in order
||[+] haven't bothered reading exactly what you're on about, but seems sufficiently "old guy" ranty.
||//fumbling about with my 40 keys to figure out which
one is the one to the bathroom//
||Who needs a key to get into their bathroom??
||Can we just skip the //Sewer,Traffic, Line, Keys and Registration// bit and get straight to the porn? Or am I missing something?
||[Max] you should ask your erotica librarian's young research assistant to find you some "locked in the bathroom" porn.
||What kind of line takes 15 minutes to snort? I think
one of the advantages of being as old as I presume
we all are is that it takes a lot of the variance out of
porn hunting. In the old days, anything with a bit of
titillation was a potential avenue of target, so had to
be explored. Now, with experience; exhaustion;
morose pointlessness of existence; and the invasive
species of free internet porn, one can highly optimise
the hunt and ignore the irrelevant. Where porn was
rare, it is now commonplace, but where porn used to
cost, it is now expected for free. Devaluation of
porn has led to more optimised achievements, which
has narrowed the acceptance window of
specification. Porn is now a language of exclamation,
much like make-up, fashion and game-playing.
||//experience; exhaustion; morose pointlessness of
existence;// Ah, I can see what you've done wrong
there. What you have done is gone and had a
morose and pointless existence. That's never a
||Most other types of existence are better. There's
"a lifelong struggle against insuperable odds";
there's "a carefree lifestyle which, inevitably, took
its toll"; and there's even (though I wouldn't
personally recommend it) "a life dedicated to the
service of [X]" where X is variable. All of those
sound good in obituaries. What does not sound
good in an obituary is "peacefully, in his sleep,
after a morose and pointless existence".
||Far be it from me to chivvy, harry or bethrip you,
but I think you ought to consider an alternative
||Actually I wasnt being self-referential, I was talking
about a typical wanker out there.
||Ah - I was perhaps misdirected by your use of the
word "one". It is, however, a relief.
Incidentally, I would like my own obituary to read
"Unexpectedly, whilst bungee jumping naked at the
Y3K New Year festivities on Henderson Island."
||// I was talking about a typical wanker out there. //
||Be specific ... Ed or David ?