I have an acronym for the things in my life that I experience a lot
of
that used to seem like a waste of time and make me frustrated
and
anxious, that I now regard as evidence that God or nature really
really does not want me to do something or other and is thus
making life bureaucratic
and full of nonsense for me. This
acronym is
STLKR which stands for:
Sewer
Traffic
Line
Keys
Registration
Actually, now that I am an old fart without any goals, I think of
these aspects of my life not as obstacles to getting what I want
but
evidence that God or nature is very careful and consistent about
punishing you for not learning.
Increasingly I regard them in the way I used to regard the
addictions
I used to engage in in order to deal with the frustration of having
to
endure these activities on the way to some goal or other. The
addictions quickly became the goals.
So now I think to myself, "ah, yeah, how about a little LINE, ah
yeah," as I am getting into the 15 minute line at Starbucks every
morning. Or, as I am fumbling about with my 40 keys to figure out
which one is the one to the bathroom, for the 10th year in a row, I
now think, "ah, yeah, I'm gonna enjoy me some KEY". So SEWER,
TRAFFIC, LINE, KEYS, and REGISTRATION, have finally attained the
exulted position in my life that SEX, DRUGS, and ROCK AND ROLL,
once held, and that was originally occupied by CHURCH, FAMILY
and
HONEWORK. Ok it was never occupied by homework, that was a
lie,
and thus the rest of the progression I guess,
Anyway. I am not a jealous man, so I would like other people to be
able to have the same experience as me, especially now that I am
able to be fully conscious and present to the details of the STLKR
activities in my life, and that I can recognize the intricacy and
delicacy with which God or nature orchestrated these activities.
I am convinced also that this kind of recorded footage and not
Cosmos or the morning news will be our legacy, is the best
evidence
of the way our world works, and will be the research playground
of
future generations.
So I am proposing STLKR porn, which is not just sheer volume
database recordings of first person STLKR experiences but rather,
ready-for-consumption highlights. Kind of like YouTube for
psychologists.
Think about it: all the line, key fumbling, sewage smell and
homeless people experiences, endless loops of registration
nightmare, and passive aggressive traffic interaction you could
ever
want, all in one place, so that if your life was going to end up that
way, well then now you would never have to leave home in order
to
experience it.