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Roland settled comfortably, spreading his cheeks apart as he sat. The seat was cold, but not moreso than normal.
The first peal was merely a distant rumble, a mutter on the horizon. It seemed muffled and indistinct. The air became charged, as with ozone and electricity and expectation.
Successive
growling and rumblings were louder. Roland could hear a crowd gathering.
Suddenly, a deafening roar split the air asunder, simultaneous with a flash of white light. Giant, snaking, crackling streams of electricity sparkled and danced across the room, arcing to taps and hinges, as they went. Gasps and a muffled scream wafted over the door.
The roars faded back to mutters, as Roland wiped and adjusted his clothes, before flushing.
An ozone catalyser, a small van de Graaff generator and a compact sound system were all you needed, to make the natives think you possessed some kind of magic.
Roland nonchalantly walked to the basin and washed his hands, before leaving the washroom. Hushed whispers behind his back indicated he had impressed someone, at least.
[link]
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It's worrying that I can imagine myself doing this. |
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A sure-fire Halfbakery winner, combining defacation, explosions and Van der Graaff generators. |
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Oopsie - my bad "van de Graaff" it is. |
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She had a generator!! Any wonder she won so many singles titles. |
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I gather Roland won't be needing his hair trimmer (the curved forceps that have a dental visualization mirror soldered to one fork) after a perianal immolation. |
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That burning smell ain't feathers! |
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I wonder if this would make for fulgercopralites? |
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Does this idea spring from Crap Lighting which I misread as Crap Lightning? |
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UnaBubba, have you run out of medication again? ;) |
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//UnaBubba, have you run out of medication again? ;)// |
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There was a young fellow named cass
Whose bollocks were made out of brass
They tinkled together
And made stormy weather
And lightning came out of his ass... |
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Yes, inspired by [daseva]'s idea. He made me do it! Well, he urged me to do it... |
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Funny. A little gross, a lot weird, but funny. [+] |
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Oh, that Ro-Ro. He's really something else, isn't he? |
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Disappointed - No Bloody reindeer |
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Go on, [Mach]. You'd invite Roland home in a blink, wouldn't you? |
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Is he a Prancer or a Dancer? |
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The Casablancan Caste a nets have come too close to Roland. Even in Algiers the subscription to his fears ne're gives a miss.
To prey the scorpion, centipede, and pages unarranged make amis this. (experience).
To spit on palms & rub in regions dismissed, to feel time travel most dismissed, Roland, Roland, on a rainbow rides. |
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What do you get when you cross UnaBubba with benfrost? |
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UnaBenfrost: Electric Vagina Jam. |
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Electric Vagina would be worse I think but let's not go there. |
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And his theme song was Smoke Stack Lightning.. |
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Bravo, Encore!
(you too, fridge duck) |
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And then of course 'Vagina Jam Unplugged, the accoustical version.' |
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