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Scientific Re-incarnation Chart

"In your past life you were probably 30% corn, 40% chicken and 30% cow."
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Based on what your mom ate while you were gestating, a real guess as to what you were in previous lives.

Have your mom fill out a form, send me, oh, say, a hundred bucks, and I'll let you know what life forms the matter that became you inhabited before you became a human.

It'll be a mixture of stuff unless, for instance, your mom only ate pickles. In which case you were a pickle.

doctorremulac3, Jun 30 2016

Sorry, it states right here, see, no reincarnation. https://en.wikipedi..._Bureau_Order_No._5
Sorry about your loss. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 30 2016]

A replacement for the grim reaper? http://thumb9.shutt...rtoon-345877502.jpg
Should grim reaper be capitalized. [doctorremulac3, Jul 01 2016]

Dish of the Day https://en.wikipedi...ers#Dish_of_the_Day
Ameglian Major Cow [8th of 7, Jul 02 2016]

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       How can this be? China has decreed otherwise. [link]   

       It... it just can not be.   

       // your mom only ate pickles //   

       That explains Hillary Clinton...
8th of 7, Jun 30 2016
  

       I was once a bit of fertilizer. And I will be again. Good times, those.   

       <exits whistling 'Startdust'>
RayfordSteele, Jun 30 2016
  

       I have been seamlessly reincarnated as myself hundreds of times. Wow! It just happened again! And you know what, I can accurately remember what happened to me in previous lives such as, say, last Monday. It's uncanny.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 01 2016
  

       The corollary of "you are what you eat" is "you will be what eats you".   

       I don't know enough French to know what form of "bon appétit" you would use when speaking directly to the entrée.
lurch, Jul 01 2016
  

       That's right. If I rub my crystal balls I can see what the future holds for your next life.   

       You're some kind of weird fungus, then you're a bunch of worms.   

       Unless you get buried at sea. Then you're a bunch of fish.   

       I know some people who've gotten a jump start on being a weird fungus in their current life.   

       Do you think the grim reaper should be replaced with a cartoonish looking worm licking his lips holding a knife and fork while wearing a bib? It's probably more appropriate.
doctorremulac3, Jul 01 2016
  

       // French ... you would use when speaking directly to the entrée. //   

       Sp. "french"   

       Apparently they speak fluent English <link>.
8th of 7, Jul 02 2016
  

       Trump = 55% bat guano, 35% cactus, 15% brick dust, 4% hogweed sap, 1% sardine scales, 0.01% intelligent protein
xenzag, Jul 02 2016
  

       That's a lot of Trump.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 02 2016
  

       He always gives more than 100%.
xenzag, Jul 02 2016
  


 

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