Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'

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Shoulder weights and Exercise Berets
to prevent osteoporosis
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Osteoporosis: the bane of elderly women everywhere. It leads to a hunched back, an inability to look people in the eye, and serious risks of broken hips and other bones.

Osteoporosis is caused by a natural reduction in bone density as you age, but it's effects can be reduced by engaging in weight-bearing exercises. Of note in this connection is the fact that osteoporoisis is a far more common disorder among the skinny than among the fat. Why? because they are bearing more weight.

Exercise weights, ankle weights, and weight bracelets of varying kinds have been designed, but for the most part, they are rarely used, because you look silly walking around with five pounds on each arm. Moreover, the weight these devices place on the body do not, in my mind, seem to be in the best place.

Most of the physical discomfort caused by osteoporisis on a day to day basis is caused by the hunced over posture you must maintain. This posture is in turn caused by bone degeneration of the neck and spine.

I therefore propose a line of high fashion weighted shoulderpads and hats. Shoulderpads and hats are much larger than bracelets and anklets, so should be capable of carrying a far heavier load. This load could also be worn discreetly thoughout more of the day, to ensure more bone-strengthening abuse is put on your body.

Additional lines of weighted necklaces, and bras could be designed, but I suspect the market for weights distributed in the front for women will not be very great.


ye_river_xiv, Apr 20 2007

basketbaked http://www.hoopskil...d/strengthsuit.html
baked for basketballers for yonks, sorry. [m_Al_com, Apr 23 2007]

[link]






       This is not good, not good. There ought to be a way to stress the bones without a constant, oppressive weight.   

       What you need, if I may so pertusive, is an eccentric rotary beret. Concealed in the beret is a modest weight mounted eccentrically on the horizontal axis of a motor. As the motor spins, it applies a rapidly fluctuating force (thereby stressing the bone - a constant load is not needed), but the average force is quite low. A chin-strap might be needed, obviously.

MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 20 2007
  

       Well, that got a chuckle. Good mental image.   

       I'm not sure it would actually be better though. Rotating eccentric weights would just... make your head vibrate. I suspect that kind of stressing on the bones would stress the cartillage more, and might lead to a sort of "head-banger's syndrome" problem.   

       Plus it'd be hard to talk to clients on the phone.

ye_river_xiv, Apr 21 2007
  

       Wearable weights? Like a "mad max" kind of clothing line?... If people can get a generation to make their hair look like a bee hive, anything is possible.   

       I like this implementation for it's purpose of strengthening bones and especially all the possibilities for puns.   

       I tried something like this before. I made a vest filled with sand bags. crap that thing was so heavy I lost interest.

twitch, Apr 22 2007
  

       A vest of sand bags? you must be nuts! Just make your own chain maille like I do... Oh, I'm nuts too. Well, never mind.

ye_river_xiv, Apr 22 2007
  
      
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