h a l f b a k e r y
Faster than a stationary bullet.
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Surprise and amuse your friends or business associates at dinner, garden or tea parties with a special touch – human furniture. Your guests will squeal with enchantment and groan with envy as they try out the living, leather armchair or rest their legs on the otto-man.
Our staff of more than fifty
trained athletes, with histories as mimes, street statues, art class models and meditation instructors, can be rented by the hour or for an entire evening. Posing in the buff or in a variety of upholstery, including thick, fluffy knits for a more padded feel, we can build a variety of pieces from a sofa to a 6 piece dining table set. We also offer coffee tables with a choice five different tabletops, floor lamps, a bed composed of four weight watchers and a love seat where you can get a hug while sitting alone. You may choose to have us mute, whisper sweet nothings, sing, massage or tickle.
To order this unique and remarkable service, see details and prices below. Note: we do not do bathroom furnishings.
Sit here.
http://www.stone-de...sit-on-my-face.html
[mrthingy, Jun 19 2002]
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For a second there this idea seemed to be some kind of invitation... |
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From April 9th 2001 through mid May 2001 I tried to force everyone i knew to adress me as thehumanfurniture. Which is the name of a Japanese rock band and appropriate title for me as an attention starved girl at my school used to frequently jump onto my lap unenvited while i was working in the computer lab. |
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I actually made a dumb idea on the halfbakery using that as a username a year ago having to do with wheelchairs and people mistook my name as relating to the idea and thought it was all a huge attempt to mock the handicapped (which it wasn't, at least not intentionally). Which of course, faired horribly and resulted in mainy a fishbone. Afterwhich I was so shocked, not that my idea was awful, but that my carelessness might have hurt people and i forgot about the bakery until my triumphant return a few months ago. |
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And we all lived happily ever after. |
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I could hold your gin glass/bottle but don't put out your cigs in my other palm. |
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Sorry, I only perform as furniture on a solo and exclusive basis. |
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And for the third time in half an hour...
<blackadder> Why spend money on expensive furniture when I have servants standing around doing nothing all day? </blackadder> |
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//Note: we do not do bathroom furnishings. // |
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I'll send Matt over to see you. He needs work. In fact, he's not happy unless he's flat out. |
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surely this idea is baked by children ? speaking from some experience of trying to watch a video with my neice & nephew. At various points i seemed to have "comfy sofa" or "dangerous mountain, begging to be climbed" stickers on myself.
as an aside, how come an awake 3 year old is quite light. but they appear to weigh several tons when asleep & drapped all over you ? |
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I do'nt know what's more sad, the fact that someone would suggest such an idea, or the fact that it could probably work. |
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