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Skin Thickening Cream

"Bring it on, asshole!"
  (+15, -2)(+15, -2)
(+15, -2)
  [vote for,
against]

New from Roland Enterprises is the very latest in social engineering cosmetic products.

STC is an innovative blend of lanolin, novocaine, urea, aromatherapy oils, aloe vera gel and elbow grease, designed to protect you from the slings and arrows of this cruel world.

Just rub it on and you'll feel invincible. The aromatherapy oils calm you down, so you don't give a rat's about what people say; the novocaine leaves you comfortably numb; the urea toughens your skin; lanolin leaves it supple and the aloe vera protects you when the heat in the kitchen gets a bit much. Of course, the elbow grease is all yours.

N.B. Roland does not recommend using it as a personal lubricant.

UnaBubba, Feb 09 2006

What, no Wnt10b? http://www.scienced...06/040630083237.htm
"The genetically altered mice... have some less-than-desirable characteristics -- such as... skin that's twice as thick as normal." [daseva, Feb 09 2006]

Peel-off sheet of same artificial_20guitar_20calluses
[DrCurry, Feb 09 2006]

Batfink http://www.batfinkuk.com/
I thought 'like' rather than 'as' but either way, classy cartoon. [neilp, Feb 10 2006]

Callousing Cream callousing_20cream
Also similar, although the magic ingredients are less well itemized. [jurist, Feb 10 2006]

Batfink http://www.toontrac...batfink/batfink.htm
"Your bullets cannot harm me, my wings are *like* a shield of steel." About two-thirds down the page. Hal Seeger and Screen Gems took the syndication credits, although Hanna-Barbera and Screen Gems had other long-time collaborations. [jurist, Feb 10 2006]


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Annotation:







       Any relation to the instant-callus cream some people have proposed on these pages?
DrCurry, Feb 09 2006
  

       No, this one has a far more metaphoric claim to fame
UnaBubba, Feb 09 2006
  

       a (+) for your sub heading.
neilp, Feb 09 2006
  

       Rhinoplaster?   

       Surprised that's never been done, [toof]
UnaBubba, Feb 09 2006
  

       //...urea...// So *that's* why I've seen you squeezing your pussies over that cooking pot.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 09 2006
  

       Better than squeezing your ears. :)
UnaBubba, Feb 09 2006
  

       <batfink voice>   

       Your verbal barbs cannot harm me! My Thickening Cream-thickened wings are like a *shield* of *steel*.   

       <bfv/>
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 09 2006
  

       You know Batfink? *Nobody* knows Batfink, I thought I dreamt it or pulled it from my utility sleeve.   

       One of Ratfink's relatives, surely.
Shz, Feb 09 2006
  

       I seem to remember "My wings are *as* a shield of steel. Maybe it was *like*... it's a long time ago.
UnaBubba, Feb 10 2006
  

       as long as you end up looking like you're wearing a spray on, neoprene diving suit +
xenzag, Feb 10 2006
  

       I mainly remember *beep* sonar, travelling the land to find the villains, and reporting back to Batfink and Karate (or was it Judo?)   

       I, too, think it was "like".   

       I'd tell you your idea was a splendid one, UB, but that kind of namby-pamby girliechatter doesn't build character. Or thick skin.
friendlyfire, Feb 10 2006
  

       Pah! I know Batfink and have done for many years. Piss poor production values but it was Hanna Barbera so that's pretty much expected. The sidekick was Karate and Batfink's famous phrase was...shit I'm not sure now whether there's a "like" in there or not. Damn you all! I'll check and report back [goes downstairs, comes back] oh poo someone else has the DVDs....
DocBrown, Feb 10 2006
  

       Alas, the Penguin is a poor approximation to the Duck's back, which surely is a humble rival to STC.
(edit: I thought Batfink was a generalism for those evil villans who oppose Batman. Hence the Penguin. Oh, well).
Ling, Feb 10 2006
  

       Wow, look at all the *old* people here. :)
Shz, Feb 10 2006
  

       What Up [shz]? Batfink is still on TV here.
ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 10 2006
  

       You're fortunate. I only saw it when it came out, and then short-lived re-runs. Oops! I guess that makes me the old person. Anyone else watch the first episode of Sesame Street? It was about the same time.
Shz, Feb 10 2006
  

       I saw the sub heading and thought this was an innovative cure for hemorrhoids. Oh well...
zigness, Feb 10 2006
  

       You could do that if you want, but it might affect your, err... sensual enjoyment?
UnaBubba, Feb 10 2006
  

       I have no clue what, or why this is. Batfink?
blissmiss, Feb 11 2006
  

       Isn't this one of the many fine products developed in the research labs at the school of Hard Knocks?   

       <obligatory commercial plug
Welcome to the School of Hard Knocks. Our motto is "Illegitimus Non Carborundum". We offer exciting courses such as Street Smarts 101 and Go Ahead, I Dare You! Come visit our beautiful campus located down at the end of Lonely Street adjacent to Heartbreak Hotel
ocp>
  

       Wait a minute, it looks like there might be a half-baked idea somewhere in there...   

         

       Nah!
Canuck, Feb 11 2006
  

       Sometimes an idea comes along...
UnaBubba, Feb 11 2006
  


 

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