h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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Like any alarm clock, only different. No need to set it.
The Solar Alarm Clock has a small solar panel outside, to collect energy when the sun is shining. Inside, it's hooked onto a circuit that includes filaments of gold wire woven into your bottom sheet.
As the sun comes up, the current through
the filaments increases, becoming slghtly more uncomfortable with each passing moment. Eventually, the gradual electrocution of your sleeping body drives you out of bed, to face the day.
Of course, this device will also lead to pub bragging rights, about how long you managed to sleep in while the sun blazed merrily down upon the outside world.
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No, I don't want one, really, but the thought of how
nice this would be on cloudy, cold, dank, dreary, dark
New England mornings, made me think I might for a
sec. (then I could sleep in and be late and blame it on
the weather.) |
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usually, and i know this may come as a shock, alarms are needed to wake us poor sods who need to get up BEFORE (!) the sun rises enough to broil us alive. |
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Current through a //filament of gold// ?
Why gold?
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If you're after electrocution (or even mild shock,) you'll need higher voltage and more than one electrode. |
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So, you stop producing a useful, durable kitchen worktop material, and start producing melatonin, a hormone used in maintaining circadian rhythms ? |
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You could always add the melamine to powdered milk, to help slow China's population growth. |
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Gold? Because it's sexy and extremely ductile. |
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//I would like an alarm clock that bashes you on the head when you don't wake up// |
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Move back in with your mother and return to high school? |
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//Gold? Because it's sexy and extremely ductile// |
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And extremely conductive, and resistant to chemical contamination, and ridiculously expensive for this application. |
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That's good... you play it lazy and don't get out of bed, so it
bashes you in the head and renders you unconsious. That's well
thought out. |
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I'm thinking roosters. Not instead of this, but as a sort of fail-safe provision. If the electrocutional threads don't wake you in good time, then they wake the rooster, who wakes you. And somewhere down the bottom of the process diagram, you're stuck in bed on an overcast winter's day with the flu and some very fresh chicken soup. |
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What we need is a society where if you want to sleep in, it's OK, and you don't get up til you feel like it. |
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Such a society exists. It's called Unemployment, and George
Bush was its biggest supporter. |
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It's not an experience I've ever experienced. |
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